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Please Read My Poem
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Please Read My Poem |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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Everyone knew her, the queen of them all. But no one understood, how did she fall? The seven that knew, kept very far away. from the place where they pushed her, on that lonely day. It was stormy outside, and with a hug and a kiss, she left her parents, I guess the story goes like this. SHe didn't have time, to wonder why. She didn't know that day was the day she would die. She stood in castle, with the trees as her home. When suddenly she felt, she was not alone. How could they do that, diliberatly? To not look back, at the caused misery. THey would never come forward, to admit what they'd done. They thought they weren't guilty, it was just a bit of fun. ---------------------------------------------------- Don't ask me, I don't know exactly where that came from. I'm not a murderer. Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
i actually enjoyed this poem. i think this line would go better if it were broken in two: She didn't know that day was the day she would die. other than that though i dig it. i didn't see it as a murder but more as a person going over the playing of some crual joke upon them. welcome to passions. rich-pa |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
oops, i said welcome to passions, i thought this was one with the flashing folder. oh well, welcome anyways |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
The joy of artistic lisence is, you don't have to write from actual experiences. I enjoyed your poem and it flowed very nicely. Well done.  |
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thebob Junior Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 15 |
hey i like it too. i liked how it flowed off the tounge. the best writings don't have to come from anywhere in particular. |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
I liked this one a lot. It reminded me of something medievil. I think it was the whole castle thing. Anyways, good job! "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Thank you for reading my poem. I enjoy reading compliments. My friends at school always think I am talking about expirence or something that I am going to do.Like when i wrote a poem about a girl who commits suicide, they freaked out. Loves may seem forgotten, but the true will once shine through. |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
I also enjoyed this. I don't always write from experience, if I did, half my poems would be un-written. My experience level is at a minimum. Anyways, good poem, I don't think I've ever read any from you. Nice work! "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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poetic_butterfly Junior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 25illinois, usa |
i liked the medieval theme also. i usually can't stand rhyming poetry but this was actually very nice. good work, keep it up. ....the words that stand still are often the ones that move us most.... |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
just addin this to my library. Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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