Teen Poetry #2 |
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awkward pretenses |
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poetic_butterfly Junior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 25illinois, usa |
i have some rather awkward poetry, like this. or maybe it's so awkward it works....... so we run repeatedly go through the motions never actually there and you arrive at my door three in the moring my heart slips awkward i guess i'm deceiving myself assumed i really did love you till you arrived and love fell uncomfortably into my lap was it really there? i sighed, shut the door irreverent it mattered no longer you'd arrived and my heart took flight so i watched you soar effortlessly through the sky felt the pretenses return as you slipped on the moon the ache in my heart grew and i longed for you once again we'll go through the motions of deception once more as you flee as you arrive at my door i'll take the awkward pretenses and toss them aside but i'm begging you, please, until dawn arrives, to knock a little harder..... ....the words that stand still are often the ones that move us most.... |
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poetic_butterfly Junior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 25illinois, usa |
got every right to bump up my own topic..... |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
I really enjoyed this butterfly. It works because it flows as our thoughts do at times. And the whole idea is great since I can in part relate to it. Keep it up! *yes you can bump up your own...we all do ![]() "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
I enjoy freeverse, and this is an extremely well written one! This definitely works. Great job, I'll be looking for more! *Krista Knutson* "Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~ |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
nicely done. I do like the quick free versed lines. bravo "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. |
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