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Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-02-15 12:58 PM

In the moonlight, shadows dancing,
As her form moves into view.
Upon this cliff, she stands enchanted,
With the view of rocks below.

As the sea boils up in anger,
Tossing waves upon the shore.
A single tear drops falls in sorrow,
To the depth of horrors throws.

Her tears are done and she's left empty,
Whilest wind whips through her hair.
A single rose cluched in her fingers,
Salted by the halted stream.

Fingers grip the very petals,
That once were the sign of love.
Falling softly now are rested,
On the rocks which were his doom.

Ever now she carries onward,
Hollowed from that fateful eve.
Silent now the screams of terror,
Dancing on that moon lit grave.

© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
1 posted 2000-02-15 01:01 PM

Great poem Marilyn  

stay cool girl


 "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin

Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

2 posted 2000-02-15 03:55 PM

Wow what a great poem! I really liked this one!


Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
3 posted 2000-02-15 07:16 PM

I like the words you used to write this. It was wonderful.

 "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul

since 2000-02-15
Posts 103
Cecil, Wisconsin USA
4 posted 2000-02-15 07:33 PM

Hey you....I loved that poem....your use of your words is very beatiful. I"d cry.  
Take Care!

Dusk Treader
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
5 posted 2000-02-15 10:14 PM

A rather dark poem, Marilyn, but I've always been a great fan of darker works.  I can see the scene before me, with the woman on cliff's edge and the crumbling rose...

"Ever now she carries onward,
Hollowed from that fateful eve.
Silent now the screams of terror,
Dancing on that moon lit grave."

I loved that stanza, such a sorrowful ending.  Greatly enjoyed though, Marilyn, I enjoyed this piece  

 A writer's soul is on paper etched.

In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. --
Abrahm Simons

Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
6 posted 2000-02-16 12:33 PM

marilyn: this poem is simply incredible... superbly written, excellently metered, and exquisitely well-plotted... i have to say this one brings out even more of my own fears than did LyricFetish's non-valentine's poem... this is simply enchanting... would you mind if i add it to my list of favorites?

jerome the melancholy priest

 Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
--[billy corgan]--

since 2000-01-31
Posts 89

7 posted 2000-02-16 03:03 AM

WoW M amazing.. Its as if i sould feel the cool winds on ma face, the smell of sea in the air, the tears licking ma face, and the dead rose in my hand!beautiful of the best poems!keep it up ..see ya around faith
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 2000-02-16 07:57 AM

Thankyou all for your kind replies. I really enjoyed writing this one.

Jerome...Yes you may add this to your favorites list. You don't have to ask me if you wish to do so. If you wish to print something of mine I would like you to ask but to add it to your favorites list is no problem.  

since 2000-02-07
Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana
9 posted 2000-02-16 02:44 PM

i loved it i just have a problem with this line:
"Whilest wind whips through her hair."

you put whilest, it looks like you were using an archaic form, that's cool an dall but it's the only one in the poem.  if that's the case i'ld try "while the.."
but if whilest is an actual word that means something then i'm sorry, i'mn too lazy too get a dictionary


Junior Member
since 1999-10-22
Posts 28

10 posted 2000-02-16 09:15 PM

rich-pa...Thankyou for pointing out my error. I have an e in there that should not be. The word should be whilst.  
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
11 posted 2000-02-16 10:16 PM

Wow... great job Marilyn. All the comments have been said. I guess I'll I can do now is echo them. Great job. Next time I won't be so late!


Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2000-04-09 03:06 PM

Bumping this up on request.  
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
13 posted 2000-04-10 05:06 AM

Hey Marilyn, this is a great poem....your imagery is so vivid it's like watching play out on a movie screen or something!!

Who's requesting you to bump these poems of yours up? Whoever it is, a big thank you to them!! I am so glad I got to see them! I hope you keep bumping your work up!!

Love and hugs,


since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

14 posted 2000-04-14 05:52 AM

once! what an excellent poem!!

like has been said...the imagery is so vivid...and kinda eerie....thw whole tears and image of the rocks and atmosphere of sorrow....very well done!!


 "tears are the essence of our souls"

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