| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
|
|
||||||
| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
|
|
|
||||||
| Teen Poetry #2 |
|
Moonlight Danse Macabre |
|
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
In the moonlight, shadows dancing, As her form moves into view. Upon this cliff, she stands enchanted, With the view of rocks below. As the sea boils up in anger, Tossing waves upon the shore. A single tear drops falls in sorrow, To the depth of horrors throws. Her tears are done and she's left empty, Whilest wind whips through her hair. A single rose cluched in her fingers, Salted by the halted stream. Fingers grip the very petals, That once were the sign of love. Falling softly now are rested, On the rocks which were his doom. Ever now she carries onward, Hollowed from that fateful eve. Silent now the screams of terror, Dancing on that moon lit grave. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Great poem Marilyn  stay cool girl  ~~Lavada~~ "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin |
||
|
Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Wow what a great poem! I really liked this one! Salma |
||
|
LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
I like the words you used to write this. It was wonderful. "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
||
|
JennyeMeshan Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 103Cecil, Wisconsin USA |
Hey you....I loved that poem....your use of your words is very beatiful. I"d cry.  Take Care! -JennyeMeshan |
||
|
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
A rather dark poem, Marilyn, but I've always been a great fan of darker works. I can see the scene before me, with the woman on cliff's edge and the crumbling rose... "Ever now she carries onward, Hollowed from that fateful eve. Silent now the screams of terror, Dancing on that moon lit grave." I loved that stanza, such a sorrowful ending. Greatly enjoyed though, Marilyn, I enjoyed this piece A writer's soul is on paper etched. In flames I shall not be consumed, but reborn. -- Abrahm Simons |
||
|
poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
marilyn: this poem is simply incredible... superbly written, excellently metered, and exquisitely well-plotted... i have to say this one brings out even more of my own fears than did LyricFetish's non-valentine's poem... this is simply enchanting... would you mind if i add it to my list of favorites? sincerely, jerome the melancholy priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
||
|
faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
WoW M amazing.. Its as if i sould feel the cool winds on ma face, the smell of sea in the air, the tears licking ma face, and the dead rose in my hand!beautiful ...one of the best poems!keep it up ..see ya around faith |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Thankyou all for your kind replies. I really enjoyed writing this one. Jerome...Yes you may add this to your favorites list. You don't have to ask me if you wish to do so. If you wish to print something of mine I would like you to ask but to add it to your favorites list is no problem. |
||
|
rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
i loved it i just have a problem with this line: "Whilest wind whips through her hair." you put whilest, it looks like you were using an archaic form, that's cool an dall but it's the only one in the poem. if that's the case i'ld try "while the.." but if whilest is an actual word that means something then i'm sorry, i'mn too lazy too get a dictionary rich-pa |
||
|
Bashful Junior Member
since 1999-10-22
Posts 28 |
rich-pa...Thankyou for pointing out my error. I have an e in there that should not be. The word should be whilst.  |
||
|
Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Wow... great job Marilyn. All the comments have been said. I guess I'll I can do now is echo them. Great job. Next time I won't be so late! "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Bumping this up on request. |
||
|
ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Hey Marilyn, this is a great poem....your imagery is so vivid it's like watching play out on a movie screen or something!! Who's requesting you to bump these poems of yours up? Whoever it is, a big thank you to them!! I am so glad I got to see them! I hope you keep bumping your work up!! Love and hugs, Lizzie  |
||
|
4eva_at_heart Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238 |
once again...wow! what an excellent poem!! like has been said...the imagery is so vivid...and kinda eerie....thw whole tears and image of the rocks and atmosphere of sorrow....very well done!! Bec "tears are the essence of our souls" |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
