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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

0 posted 2000-04-06 08:54 AM

the clouds have drifted across the sky
sun beams are hideously lost
snow falls gently upon the earth
the day has turned from warm to frost

what once was known is now enveloped
by the intricate snow flakes that fall
the horizon has disappeared behind a descending mist
the echo of the darkness calls

a cloud descends upon me
menacingly large and dark
it strips me of my pride and dignity
it takes from me my heart

ripping and tearing was then not now
the pain has been and soothed
for now in its place is a void of emptiness
the hollowness i feel is proved

no longer can i protect myself
from the seasons that provoke and tell
cold wind and rain penetrates my body
pillaging my inner spirit and morale

i shiver in the snowflakes
the ones that swallowed my world
a final breath and surrender to the darkness
the misery of another is unfurled

© Copyright 2000 Bec - All Rights Reserved
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
1 posted 2000-04-06 12:51 PM

Chilling poem....I like it alot.

Love and hugs,

Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
2 posted 2000-04-07 12:19 PM

This is a really good poem Bec. I liked all the expression that you had in it. Very well done.  


since 2000-03-31
Posts 162

3 posted 2000-04-08 01:17 PM

The expression in this poem is wonderful.

I enjoy your work.

Take care.


since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

4 posted 2000-04-12 05:39 AM

c'mon guys...i was hoping on more than three replies on this....feed back would be really,...and i mean REALLY appreciated


Junior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 46
Prior Lake, MN, USA
5 posted 2000-04-12 05:10 PM

Your poem was wonderful, very expressive.  I could almost feel the chilly air and snowfall!  )


Junior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 18
6 posted 2000-04-12 08:51 PM

This was an amazing poem. For real, it has so much emotion. Keep up the good work, I'll read more. This poem was awesome!
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
7 posted 2000-04-13 08:36 PM

Hey, this is an amazing poem...

it swirls a clear image in my mind, when I read this..
An eery poem.. I love the way you have arranged the words.. it makes the poem come to life.. just magical..  


Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
8 posted 2000-04-13 10:53 PM

Extremely well done with exellent flow!  And some great imagery also. Keep it up!

 *Krista Knutson*

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
~*Albert Schweitzer*~

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