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Walk Away
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Walk Away |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
I want to remember everything about you but you hurt me and it makes me want to forget the things that scared my soul Those things that haunt my mind each night in my dreams i don't want to remember the dream you know the dream, the dream when we walked hand in hand across ground of white sky lite in red hearts lost in a sea of blue I could see everything in your eyes except I love you from me your eyes of blue strayed everytime i remember i feel so alone and afraid i walk alone a picture of you in hand the scattered memories flood my mind again again it hurts like the first time you left but this time I know the ending all to well You speek to me and all i feel is pain if i were to feel anything it would be in vein in reflection the irony sickens me my heart could handle nomore so i turned and walked away 9-9-99 "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
hoppy: the poem as a whole is fairly good, but lines 7-10 stand out for me... "you know the dream, the dream when we/ walked hand in hand across ground of white sky lite in red hearts lost in a sea of blue/ I could see everything in your eyes except I love you"... this is true poetic language and frankly i think these 4 lines are a brilliant piece of writing... i somehow dont feel that the rest of the poem compliments them as much as i wish it would, but either way the poem is good... just wanted to point out those lines... very good work sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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