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Teen Poetry #2
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Nights
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56


0 posted 2000-02-10 05:16 PM


Make a wish
You never know
If it'll come true
You're at love's
Edge, at the cliff
What will you do?
Hanging on with
A grasp so strong
Draped in the air
Trying to break free
From what holds you
To let go, would you dare?
A gust passes by
Whispering in your ear
"You're mistaken, a fool..."
It torments your spirit
It's you and yourself
Battling in a duel
You're on your eight
Life, just one more left
What will happen to you?
Take your chances
Make a wish
It might just come true...


 "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE

© Copyright 2000 Nights - All Rights Reserved
angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
1 posted 2000-02-10 05:20 PM


I like this poem a LOT better than the other one I replied to, and this one, in my opinion, has a lot more feeling behind it.  I know the feelings in this one, and can relate.  I sent one to my ex-boyfriend, and maybe he'll understand some things now, too...  
~Kristi Lynn


 "Why does no one sees how hard I cry?" -Me

Nights
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56

2 posted 2000-02-10 06:38 PM


Thanks for the response, and thanks for being honest about my other poem.  The words just appeared in my mind and i wrote them on a chalk board in school, and then on paper.

 "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2000-02-10 07:07 PM


Hey, I really enjoyed this poem. I could relate to it! Keep up the good work!

 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
4 posted 2000-02-10 07:53 PM


Sometimes when I'm in a situation where I have to make a difficult choice, I feel just like you feel in this poem. It's all chaos and confusion, but also a glimmer of hope. You poem was wonderful.
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
5 posted 2000-02-10 08:32 PM


nights: extremely intriguing... this one left me wanting more... mabye a response poem is forthcoming? *hoping*... very good work  

sincerely,
jerome the mysterious priest

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge



Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
6 posted 2000-02-11 06:18 PM


Boy do I have some wishes! Ohh...  yess, sorry you have me thinking.  Good job.

 "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler

Ender
Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 200
Yuma, AZ USA
7 posted 2000-02-11 07:34 PM


This is a wonderful poem.  you wrote this very well, and i would like to congratulate you on it.  i say, make a wish to keep writing as well as you are now and make sure it comes true.  
-Ender

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