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Forget Me Not
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Forget Me Not |
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Nights Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56 |
He sent her a forget me not Each time she thought she moved on It was blazoned into her eyes She had become his own little pawn But the fact was that She didn't know what he was doing A slick smile and gentle stare His words, in her mind, were still brewing The forget me not was The reason she'd come to be, to speak Of the terms that derived all From her, she had become so bleak Forget me not, the words That he never said, but echoed in her head Scratching her away day after day And he would be fed with the blood that she shed "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE |
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| © Copyright 2000 Nights - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
Hmmmmm... interesting. I really liked the fourth stanza. It speaks a great amount of emotion. "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
nights: this is a well-written and moving piece, but i feel as though i'm missing some deeper meaning behind the words you've so cleverly strung together... perhaps an explaination? sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
A "Forget Me Not" is a flower. "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
forgetting is the hardest part of healing, and how funny when it finally does come, you could never pinpoint it...it just slides in and off you go with a smile...great poem |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
great poem nights..you have me in tears  when me and my fiance' broke up (this was a while ago) he used to send me forget-me-nots...thanks for putting my feelings into a poem...oh by the way..me and him are getting married soon..so we "kissed and made up"  |
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Nights Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56 |
Thanks for all the responses, i don't think i've ever gotten as many as five before. An explination to this poem... my friend was talking to me about this guy that she had strong feelings for, and he for her also. They hooked up, and that was it. He never spoke to her again, never looked at her...and now he suddenly realizes that she exists again, when she's trying to move on. And it's consuming her. Thanks again for the comments [This message has been edited by Nights (edited 02-08-2000).] |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Sad your poem so I believe Love should never be a deed Not physical or otherwise Sad your poem I realize You done well The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Good one! Hey, please send me your 3 choices for a mentor! I want to get this program underway soon... Thanks! |
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Majestic Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264houston, tx. |
ditto on what helmutb said... A sad thing is love But sadder when abused Listen to thy heart Never let it be used good job on this...thanks for the read.. "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~ |
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