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Teen Poetry #2
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Just Today
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Just Today |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Just Today... What was it that I did today that made it all so different? That made it so impossible and strange? What was it that I wounded? and who? and how? and why? And when i hurt that very heart, Who made it so pretend? And what was it that faded, When I disposed of it? My heart. my soul, or my essence of it all? Why did I make one strange predicament the one and very thing, When I was once profounded by all the colorful things? What could have made me change it all so much, When I knew it was the only comfort, The only ease, The only absoulute... The only thing I had? For now, I have altered the one thing I loved most, And yet I could have just loved it the way it was before. It seems as though it's all alright, Although nothing has changed, But in my heart I feel the pain brought upon me just today. Salooma |
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| © Copyright 2000 Salooma - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Nice poem. Sorry about the pain you're going through. I'm sure it'll all work out nicely sometime. Keep  |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Thanks for the comment. Please post any suggestions or comments...this is the first poem I ever wrote and I'd appreciate anything you got to say! Thanks Salooma |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
very nicely put, (and no i'm not just sayin' that to be nice) nicely portrayed what you feel without getting to wordy and explaining too much. I like, i'd like to post this on my poetry page, contact me at [email protected] and let me know if you mind. again good poem "Which is the dream?" SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. http://members.xoom.com/weeklyhoppy |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
Loved it  and i really understand how u feel and i have felt that way many of times and have for months on end until i met a very special guy and now i feel that way no more...GREAT POEM!!!!!!!! |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Thanks a lot for the great comments and hoppy ofcourse you can put it on your site. I'll send you an email of it if you want. Thanks Salooma |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
salooma: this is very good... i have to say i was disappointed by the outcome though  i thought by the first lines (for some reason) that this was going to be a happy poem... but nonetheless, it's very well stated and i like it... keep up the good work sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Sorry to disappoint you  )Salooma |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
salooma: *heh* dont be... i can't always be the optimist (actually, i'm rarely an optimist), can i? sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Just bumping it up for anyone interested |
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Jer Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443USA |
It may have seemed like it was "Just Today..." but it happens over and over through life. What problems make you weak, make you stronger in the end! "WRITING IS EASY. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER UNTIL DROPS OF BLOOD FORM ON YOUR FOREHEAD." Gene Fowler |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Your a good writter! Keep the poems coming. This poem carries a message, hope it's understood and appreciated. Nice work! Danny |
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Majestic Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264houston, tx. |
very well written...very expressive...you dragged my heart in with it...great job.. "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~ |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Thanks a lot for the comments you guys. I really appreciate it! Salma |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
what more can i say but "dig it"? it moved me, 'twas inspiring |
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