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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-01-03
Posts 56

0 posted 2000-02-03 12:10 PM

God, please don't take offense
But i need to know the answer
Of what’s been on my mind
You've seen me down before
And you've helped me up
But i can't contain this feeling
I need to break this bottle
And let the entrapped run free

This rush is a natural high
One which brings color to my cheeks
Puts a smile on my face
I need you behind me in this
Supporting the choice i've made
To see me rise above
I may seem ill to some
Like a disease spreading in me
With little medication in sight
God... please don't take offense

 "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE

© Copyright 2000 Nights - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
1 posted 2000-02-03 03:38 PM

nights: this is definately intriguing... might i be so bold to ask what this thing in the bottle is? this thing that you fear God will take offense to?... you dont have to tell me if you'd prefer not to divulge... i do think this is a good poem (although shrouded in mystery as it is, it's hard for me to interpret)...

jerome the boy with no brain

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!

since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
2 posted 2000-02-03 07:16 PM

YES!  This was WONDERFUL! I just wrote one very simmiler to this and I know what you speak of. I must say GREAT JOB!
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