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Teen Poetry #2
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angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI

0 posted 2000-02-02 04:16 PM


CRY

People tell me not to cry;
that only wimps cry.
That isn't true, though.
I may not be as strong as others,
but I'm not a wimp.
If I'm sad, I cry;
if I'm angry, I yell;
I show my feelings.
If I were a wimp,
I'd never do that,
for the fear of being
teased or tormented.

~Kristi Lynn


 "Sometimes people care too much. I think it's called love." -Winnie the Pooh

© Copyright 2000 Kristi Stanczak - All Rights Reserved
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
1 posted 2000-02-02 06:26 PM


angel: this is a fairly good poem... i do feel that the word "wimp" in it detracts from the serious nature of the work though... you might consider exchanging "wimp" for "the weak".. the poem would then read like this:


People tell me not to cry;
that only the weak cry.
That isn't true, though.
I may not be as strong as others,
but I'm not weak.
If I'm sad, I cry;
if I'm angry, I yell;
I show my feelings.
If I were weak,
I'd never do that,
for the fear of being
teased or tormented.

just a suggestion,
jerome the boy with no brain

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge

angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
2 posted 2000-02-03 09:26 AM


jerome:  I think you might be right.  I wrote this poem almost 2 years ago, and I thought it might be okay on the forums, but I wasn't sure.  Thanks for your advice.
~Kristi Lynn  


 "Sometimes people care too much. I think it's called love." -Winnie the Pooh

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
3 posted 2000-02-03 09:53 AM


Kristi Lynn: I loved your poem! It was cute, and it shows that you are not afraid to cry...good work!  

~Lavada Lynn   (not kidding either!~)

 "Superiority to fate is difficult to learn. 'Tis not conferred by any, but possible to earn"--Emily Dickinson-"Superiority of Fate"

Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
4 posted 2000-02-03 07:02 PM


Kristi:  This was great! It is important release ones emotions and if that means crying ... so be it.  Crying dose not show weakness but the courage to express your emotions in a health matter.  Good job as always!
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