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Teen Poetry #2
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End of Tribulation, where are you?
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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End of Tribulation, where are you? |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
At The Gate Guns, Rockets, and manifestos of death of all these things you ain't seen nothin' yet The day shall come when the sky blazes in red earthquakes rumble with massive storms overhead To the murders, thieves, and adulters alike When he comes on that day you'll be far from alright At his feet judgements forever, ignorant man thinks passiage is due He'll look down with tears and say "depart from me, i never knew you" And on this day all heaven filled with sadness For it has lost uncountable souls to this world of madness I say to you carefull not to possess lust, greed, dishonor, or hate Cause on this one day, it'll be you answering at the gate ---Written by:Hoppy 9-9-99 "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. http://members.xoom.com/weeklyhoppy Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!! |
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| © Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
hoppy: i really like the idea and the theme of this poem and the gate imagery is carried throughout the poem with success... some of the meter is a little awkward... try reading the poem out loud to yourself and see if you might identify some of the problems... despite that, i think it's good as it stands... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Hey...I'm big on the "revelation themes" too. Sounds like maybe we share the same faith. Nice work on the poem, it's definately expressive. Cool. |
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hoppy Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271 |
thank you both for your replies, i wasn't sure how this one would be recieved. thought i'd give you all a little to think about. "If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity." SUBMIT YOUR POETRY HERE, AWSOME PAGE. NEW POETRY FORUM ADDED Don't look... you might see. Don't listen... you might hear. Don't think... you might learn. Don't walk... you might stumble. Don't run... you might fall. Don't make a decision... you might be wrong. Don't live...you might die. THE PAGE OF PURE POETIC EXPRESSION!! |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
lyricfetish: this probably isn't the place to say this, but i'm a Christian (perhaps in the oddest sense of the term)... i do like the revelation themes, but i'm really a sucker for love and dichotomies (such as "the last will be first")... hoppy: as an additional note, i like the way you handle this theme... respectful while conveying what needs to be conveyed... sincerely, jerome the boy with no brain A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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