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Crush
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Crush |
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Rhiannon Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 95Fayetteville, TN USA |
Crush crush crush me I shouldn't be standing beside you They say Hush hush hush me I shouldn't be saying this to you They say Does it last forever? My teeth scrape your skin I run from the pain within But the shadows follow The walls are hollow And I hear your voice Hear you say I love you till I die Does it last forever? Hackneyed notions Of living perfectly Intense emotions When you get to the heart of me I'm living despite This respite I long to feel your eyes Your hands on me, responsive but They say we are too young To know what is good for us They say we shouldn't be But for my sanity I need you here with me I would But it's too hard to think Crush me I'm crushing The feelings I feel So I can live without you here I tempted to fall But I grin and bear the pain If this isn't love I'm blind To the image of you standing In front of me wishing We were alone If this isn't love I'm deaf To the sound Of your voice and the pound Of your heart and mine Singing despite This respite I long to feel your touch Not alone, not much But what does it matter? If this isn't love, I'm incapable And forever, if it's true, I'm in debt to you For giving me love When I needed you to. ------------------ The night is my companion The solitude my guide Would I spend forever here And not be satisfied? Sarah MacLachlan, "Possession" |
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| © Copyright 1999 Rhiannon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
though I may not be much older than you, this has plastered all over it "Teen Angst". though it is a nice piece and all your teen friends will say it's good and they like it, few other than them will see it. though they can relate to it, they can't get inside of it, which are two different things. yes, I can relate to it and I can understand what you mean, yet it is so foriegn as to mean nothing. a writer writes to his/her audience, as much as to themselves. yet if a writer tries to hold just one age group, you will find that what may be good one year is not the next. what may be easy to write one day, is impossible the next. I'm not saying it's not a good piece, what I am saying is that it is a selfabsorbed piece. you are showing everyone that you have this jewel, yet when they ask to touch it, you keep them at arms length. you have to describe the sensation of what it feels like to them. how does this love feel? does it make you dance as if the wind were your partner? expound and share. and thank you for posting this. one of my friends told me that along time ago and it just now made sense. |
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