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Open Poetry #3
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Goodbye Alice
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Goodbye Alice |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Darling, it's time to say goodbye As I promised I won't cry I'll be strong for the kids You wanted to be the first to go And now I'm glad you did I wouldn't want you to ever know this pain You were my lover and my best friend My life I've spent with you I'll remember just like I said Remember all the times we shared The good and the bad But mostly I'll remember you Laughing and happy How you used to butcher the english Language And how I would tease you about it so I'll think of the times when we were poor Just starting out our lives And the trouble we got into as kids Your sky blue eyes and killer smile The way you fought for your family They way that you loved me Holding you close night and day Letting you think I was helpless Having you get your way I know you're in God's hands now Hey when you see your brother? Don't believe what he tells you about me Well sweetheart it's time I'll kiss you cheek once more This is the hardest thing I've even done I'll let them close the coffin lid ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Watcher666 - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Heartbreaking... but very well done... I like the bit of humor in the next to the last verse. |
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Kitty** Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 428Charlottesville,VA USA |
I don't like reading this type of poem..but read them I do.. Tears make the laughter that much sweeter! Good writing..Watcher |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Oh my, I am sitting here fighting back tears with this piece. You have done a wonderful job. The flow is good, the feelings and emotions this stirs unbelievable. At first I thought maybe she was leaving him, when I got to the end it nearly broke my heart. Excellent poem, thanks for sharing. If this grief is but your own, my thoughts and prayers are with you. |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
really excellent, gave me tears and the chills, sorry for your pain and loss, but thank you for sharing |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Heartbreakingly beautiful Watcher! Jenny |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
When one makes me misty eyed, you know it has power! Smashing peeping tom!  |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Thank-You all for reading.This was actually for my Father.He's just learning to let go of his best friend,sister,wife and lover of 54 years.Thank-you for your thoughts and prayers. ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
It is a very touching piece, and even brought a lump to my throat at the thought of losing my love. Thanks for sharing. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Watcher, this is a wonderful poem, I too thought he was leaving her,until I got to the end, my heart skipped a beat, this was very touching, my prayers and thoughts are with you. ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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EnglishRose Junior Member
since 1999-10-08
Posts 13 |
great job, how very true,, [This message has been edited by EnglishRose (edited 10-19-1999).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You wove this one very well, Watcher |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
....well, now that i've used up all the kleenex in the house and have finally calmed down here...a bit...Fabulous writing. ------------------ Denise |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Echoes the above, in full. ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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H. Arlequin Member
since 1999-08-23
Posts 210 |
HA applauds Watcher!! |
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Jennifer Marie O'Neil Junior Member
since 1999-11-01
Posts 48port charlotte fl/bklyn ny |
Really sweet poem. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Watcher: Beautifully written.. HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Putting these feelings into words is no small chore - Nicely done, Watcher |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Beautifully written Watcher...... ------------------ A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extrordinaire! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Your heart was in this poem Watcher. Well done! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
this was such a sweet poem, i can feel your heart in every line, both you and your father will be in my prayers. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Aye it is beautifully written Watcher :0 Bought a tear or two to my blue eyes too Thanks ------------------ Through poetry my heart and soul truly sing... ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Well Done Watcher... done with sensitivity and grace. I wish your father well. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Watcher, You did well, enjoyed the read. |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Something I too think about from time to time I know I am growing older and so is the man I love... It's going to be so hard to let him go...whether it be me or him going first... But I pray we will have had enough days!!! To make memories to last the rest of our days.. Beautiful!!! sad, but real amd what else is life, but many experiences? |
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
when I write a comment, its either because I like the flow, style or content and or the effort that the writer has placed within the writing in your case its because I cried BUCKETS.... well done. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Very well written Watcher and a great expression of emotions here! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
oh my...  |
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