'Twas The Night Before Buck Season (My appologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

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hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

0 posted 1999-10-17 03:52 PM

(Most of this was written about 4 or 5 years ago, I just completed it...my sincere appologies to Clement Clarke Moore for my poetic license on this one)

‘Twas The Night Before Buck Season

‘Twas the night before buck season, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The hunting gear was hung on the clothesline with care,
In hopes that by morning of scents it’d be bare.
My sons were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of trophy racks danced in their heads;
And dad in his shorts, and I in my gown,
Had just gotten in bed and had just settled down-
When in the next room there arose such a clatter,
I jumped from my bed to see what was the matter.
I opened the door and ran dawn the hall
Tore open my boys door and gave them a call.
The beam of the flashlight shone down with a glow,
On the pile of florescent orange below;
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But my own two boys dressed in hunting gear.
Their little old faces were filled with such cheer
I knew in a moment that dawn must be near!
Faster than eagles they gathered their gear,
And the whispered their orders in each others ears,
“You get the guns, I’ll get the rope,”
“We have enough shells?” “Oh boy, I sure hope!”
Out through the door and down the hall,
They ran to our bedroom and gave dad a call.
As dry leaves before a wild hurricane fly,
He flew out of bed with that look in his eye.
I knew by noon, they’d be a hungry bunch,
So I went down the stairs to fix them some lunch.
Then in a twinkling I heard someone fall,
And cursing and swearing coming from out in the hall;
I came from the kitchen and was turning around
When down the stairs my husband came with a bound.
He was dressed all in thermal clear up to his head,
He looked like he needed to still be in bed.
A bundle of clothes he had flung on his back
And he looked like a hobo carrying a sack.
His eyes were all bloodshot, his face was all hairy;
What a sight he was, it was rather quite scary.
His mouth was open all wide in a yawn,
But I knew he had only an hour before dawn.
I poured him some coffee in hopes that he’d wake
And I couldn’t help but wonder how many cups it would take.
Half asleep like he was, he looked like an elf
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
He gave me a wink, then picked up his cup
Stretched out his arms, then he got up
He spoke not a word, just gathered his gear
Loaded the pick up, like he hadn’t a care
To the boys gave a yell and pilled them all in
It was finally time for their hunt to begin
I smiled and shouted, as they drove away
“HAPPY HUNTING TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD DAY”

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This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. ~Eurpides

[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 10-17-1999).]

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

1 posted 1999-10-17 03:59 PM

So THAT'S what happened to my family! ROFL!! Great job, hoot. Painful, but great.

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 10-17-1999).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

2 posted 1999-10-17 04:00 PM

Great job, Hoot! And I don't think Clement would mind a bit! Me thinks he'd be honored!

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Denise

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

3 posted 1999-10-17 04:06 PM

LOL Hoot...how funny. My dads the same way the night before the tri to Vegas, And my mom the day before the NASCAR races, And my boyfriend the night of a wrestling even...and I....I'm never up that early on my own free will.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

caroline
Senior Member

since 1999-08-16

Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm

4 posted 1999-10-17 04:13 PM

OH HOOT!!! This is GREAT! I come from a place where vacation plans are made for deer season, weddings don't come in October/November 'cause the guys don't have time for a honeymoon, and the word "wife" translates to "chief cook and bottle washer"...LOL. I learned how to keep dinner warm for three hours without drying it out!

Mind if I print this and show it to the guys?
They'll love it as much as I do! (I'll be sure and keep your copyright on it!)

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"Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats

[This message has been edited by caroline (edited 10-17-1999).]

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

5 posted 1999-10-17 06:06 PM

ROFL...thank you for taking the libert...I'll never be able to hear the original the same again!

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

6 posted 1999-10-17 07:01 PM

Hehehehe...wonderful parody Hoot. At work, I've heard nothing but the various hunting seasons...coupled with sports. Seems that these guys would barely have time for the families they support.

Which reminds me...before my trip to Oregon, I've gotta stop by and wish my brother-in-law a good hunt before he heads to the deer lease.

Alicat

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

7 posted 1999-10-17 07:49 PM

Lady Hoot: As always... Most Excellent! Very humorous. I for one couldn't pull a trigger on man or beast unless duely thretened, but I can understand if it comes to putting food on the table. All in all that was really a fun read.

[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 10-17-1999).]

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

8 posted 1999-10-17 08:27 PM

Balladeer...if my son was hunting your family, you have nothing to worry about

Denise, Systematic Decay, Andrew, Christopher, and Alicat...thank you all

Caroline...please do feel free to print and share and best regards to your guys this season

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This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. ~Eurpides

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

9 posted 1999-10-19 03:47 AM

LOL! As much as I despise hunting I do understand it. This was too funny!

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

10 posted 1999-10-23 10:54 PM

LOL Hoot ! I was looking for this one, I knew I missed it. LOL am I glad I found it !

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

11 posted 1999-10-23 11:01 PM

Hoot this was a HOOT! LOL...excellent job, made a great read and great giggle!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

12 posted 1999-10-24 08:19 AM

Glad everyone found the humor in this one

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

13 posted 1999-10-24 08:30 AM

This was very entertaining! I'll have to go with Mr. Andrew Scott on the personal inability to shoot anything, with the additional proviso to cover the starving aspect (if its me or the deer, I'd have to take me any day!) I could see the husband stumbling groggily about the house, the boys scrambling about with boundless energy -- very well done, hoot_owl__rn!

-- Kess

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You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

14 posted 1999-10-24 10:56 AM

LOL Hoot......Terrific piece!!
Loved the read........

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May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Starith
Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 176
Leesburg, FL USA

15 posted 1999-10-24 11:06 AM

You know Hoot...I generally open my door and tell 'em to shut up...but I don't do mornings very well either. LOL...I loved this...I can just see my family now...Lord what a sight. LMAO. Thanks for the laugh I needed it this morning.

Star

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We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

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