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Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

0 posted 1999-10-15 03:04 PM

You fabricate reality to suit your rigid taste --
Intelligence is atrophied, and genius goes to waste --
Neatly trapped in the confines
Of your narrow little minds,
You celebrate your travesty: a miracle disgraced.

Insatiably, you probe the darkest reaches of my mind,
For what I am does not embrace the patterns you've defined.
Content, for all the world to see,
To rot in your complacency:
A servant to the status quo, whose cancer made you blind.

Intent on placing limits on a thing that knows no bounds,
You cling to suppositions my unfettered soul confounds;
Imagination is a crime,
But even that will fade, in time:
You denigrate creative thought, pronouncing it unsound.

A ruthless order to your thoughts, painstakingly ingrained
To strip away the core of you, till nothing else remains;
It is a well-worn path you plod,
But I can see your way is flawed:
Oblivious, you labor on, and label me "insane."

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 1999-10-15 03:12 PM

"and the insane shall inherit some world..."

Well done, Nocht!

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

2 posted 1999-10-15 03:19 PM

Thank you Sunshine, I always hoped I'd inherit something ...

[This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 10-15-1999).]

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 1999-10-15 03:49 PM

This is one of the best pieces of writing I've see on this site.....and the rhyme scheme is ideal for it. A huge well-done!

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

4 posted 1999-10-15 05:05 PM

That's some compliment, Balladeer ... and coming from a poet of your caliber, doubly so. Thank you for the read and reply.

Nocht

caroline
Senior Member

since 1999-08-16

Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm

5 posted 1999-10-15 06:44 PM

Awesome, Nocht! Simply awesome!

------------------
"Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

6 posted 1999-10-15 07:00 PM

Fantastic read! Liked this much!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

7 posted 1999-10-15 07:14 PM

Nochie, This is fantastic, enjoyed the read

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

8 posted 1999-10-15 08:31 PM

Bow, with a flourish

caroline, Watcher, and Dark Angel ... thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. Your words of kindness are appreciated.

Nocht

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 1999-10-15 08:55 PM

This is great, Nocht!!! I don't normally comment on rhyme schemes, but Balladeer's right... the rhyme scheme is perfect for this poem. Well done!

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

10 posted 1999-10-15 09:17 PM

Sorry if I seem to be trying to keep myself on the top, but it seems I can't see my responses until I've posted a reply myself! Wonder if it has anything to do with the screwed-up server..?

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

11 posted 1999-10-15 11:24 PM

an excellent piece of writing here

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

12 posted 1999-10-16 06:50 PM

I ditto all the above! Well done, Nocht!

------------------
Denise

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

13 posted 1999-10-16 07:19 PM

Nocht...I really love this one...it is a great description of the state of our society...not only was I labeled insane for haveing my own views, I was scapegoated for hateful graffiti, a death threat a girl got in her locker (She coincidentally is an enemy of mine) and even BOMB THREATS written on bathroom walls in my school, NONE of which I was guilty. The problem with modern society is that if something doesnt fit in with their idea of normal, or right, it must be destroyed.
I think a Metallica quote is suiting here: "You can do it your own way, If it's done just how we say."

Thanks Nocht for sharing this wonderful piece with us AND giving me a chance to vent about people in general.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

14 posted 1999-10-16 08:09 PM

Denise, I appreciate your response, as always. This piece is a bit out of character for me, at least since I got out of high school some #%^@ number of years ago ... (hee hee) I'm glad you liked it ...

Sys D, I know exactly how you feel ... when I was in high school, I was constantly judged by my appearance, the music I listened to, who I dated, and countless other irrelevant things ... rarely did someone take the time to get to know me before they passed judgement. I got my revenge, though --- much to everyone's surprise, I graduated with honors and was awarded a full scholarship to boot, and marched proudly at graduation with half my hair dyed blue!

Nocht

Starith
Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 176
Leesburg, FL USA

15 posted 1999-10-17 06:43 PM

Ah how well I know this feeling. I have been called many things in mylife...insane is but one of them. But I would rather be insane than be sane and not have my poetry flow from within my veins. Beautifully done my friend.

Star

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We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

16 posted 1999-10-18 10:20 PM

Good point Star, never looked at it that way before.

Thanks for the reply!

Nocht

H. Arlequin
Member

since 1999-08-23

Posts 210

17 posted 1999-10-19 12:54 PM

Ha applauds!!!!

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

18 posted 1999-10-19 01:49 AM

Ouch - wouldn't want to be the 'you' in this - if there is one! A fine fine piece of work, Nocht.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

19 posted 2002-01-14 10:36 AM

A ruthless order to your thoughts, painstakingly ingrained
                  To strip away the core of you, till nothing else remains;
                  It is a well-worn path you plod,
                  But I can see your way is flawed:
                  Oblivious, you labor on, and label me "insane."

these words alone will help me make it through the day, thank God for the archieves.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

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