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Open Poetry #3
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On her way up
| Open Poetry #3 |
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On her way up |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin 
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Kept in the dark for so many years nobody would tell her confirm her worst fears She struggled and tried being all that she could "we'll make it work" she "knew" that they would All of the beauty that so brightly had glown soon to be gone though she'd never known Chasing a dream that wasnt quite there so real was her love that wasnt quite shared What a beautiful thing to simply throw out have taken for granted her candle blown out Years have soon past and still getting worse "it cannot be true" this cannot be cursed All of the hurt all of the pain building inside her forced through her viens It's finally ending with some needed help from someone who cares who knows how she felt Pray for her I will that her heart may someday accept much needed love and realize it can stay Know how real it can be like the way it once was something inside you more than the old fuzz Now its time to prepare for the rest of her life shes on her way up through the clouds she sees light A heart once tarnished soon ready to shine to be bright once again for whats down the line Shes on her way up now flying with brand new wings such a beautiful sight my heart for her sings  [This message has been edited by ThUnDeRkYsS (edited 10-14-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 B.J.Howe - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thunderkyss, this is good, enjoyed the read  ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
'What a beautiful site....My heart for her sings" Loved this line..Nicely done! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I really like the message behind this one...the rhyme is wonderful and it flows pretty smoothly throughout except for a few lines that could us a nip and a tuck, otherwise a wonderful piece of work |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
I thank you all greatly for your input and comments. I truley appreciate every last one Hoot: Here is the finished product A little more than a "nip" here and a "Tuck" there, but it all worked out I think Thank you again for helping me out with this one ------------------ Life is what you make of it... Not what you let it be |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thunder....I love what you did with this Nice job and a wonderful poemHow about a boost back to the top ? |
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StuffN New Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 7USA |
Brian...I can only hope you are right. If not, it helps to know that you are there and I have your hand. Thanks, again. :***** |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
Melanie... You are welcome, and you have my hand whether this is true or not ;******* ------------------ Life is what you make of it... Not what you let it be |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
So beautiful  I loved the words in verse three.Jenny ------------------ Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
Thank you Jenny  |
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