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Open Poetry #3
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My Sanity's Gone
| Open Poetry #3 |
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My Sanity's Gone |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
With a lump in my throat And a grin painted on With empty eyes showing My sanity's gone With a lack of reason And a laugh so bitter Alone in my mind I sift through the litter Fleeting images Pass through my head A knife to my throat, Being pushed off the bed Surrounded with enemies Always alone I only did things I thought you'd condone Its so hilarious When I look back I'm laughing so hard At the courage I lacked My soul runs away Through tears on my face My sanity's gone And it left not a trace ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- [This message has been edited by Systematic Decay (edited 10-24-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Systematic Decay - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Great! Dark and delightfully expressed. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very descriptive, SD, and easy to read! ------------------ Denise |
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Star Fairy 2 Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260cerritos, california, usa |
i liked this one... good work ------------------ Happiness is a journey.. not a destination -------823------- |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This flows very nicely |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Well done verse!!!  ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Very well done as always SYS !!!! Jenny |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Nice!. Enjoyed it. Ohme |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yes, well done. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I'm glad I found it SD. I enjoyed it ! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I Echo all the above, Well Done! as always  ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
YOURS is gone too? I was going to ask if you knew where MINE was! **sigh** Oh well ... you write well for a crazy person, I must say!  -- Kess ------------------ You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Systematic....I believe this is my second posting on this one. I really like it, one small suggestion though. The lines: "In my mind I'm Sifting through all the litter" If you changed it to something like Alone in my mind I sift through the litter it would make an already good meter perfect |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Hey, Ruth, thanks for the suggestion. I will edit it now. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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