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Open Poetry #3
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Sun in your eyes
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Sun in your eyes |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
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Sun in your eyes (for traveler) The first time that you looked at me, The sun was in your eyes; Bright golden fingers stretched into The blue of endless skies. And I returned an earthen gaze Of green and gold and dun: A quiet grove of summer trees, All dappled by your sun. That night we lay, with you the sky And I the earth below -- My body tingled with your warmth -- I basked within your glow. So soothing and sublime your touch -- A gentle breath of wind That swept with tender grace across The meadow of my skin. Just when I thought I'd be consumed By fire in my blood -- You quenched my thirsty passions with Your love's unending flood. And as you slept, I lay awake, A war within my heart: For dawn, I knew, would bring the day That we would have to part. The moment came -- we shared goodbye -- You took my hand to say That soon, we'd never part again ... Then slowly turned away. And though I knew your promise true, My eyes betrayed my pain; Bent low, like branches in the storm, They wept the summer rain. ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") [This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 10-10-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Breathtakingly beautiful! ------------------ Denise |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
very very nice....I loved the ending RB ------------------ if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Noch, Well done, enjoyed the read |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Nocht, I think this is my favorite piece of yours! It's so heartbreakingly beautiful, makes me want to cry. *sigh* the pain of goodbye. ------------------ It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. --W.E. Henley Visit my poetry website: www.geocities.com/Paris/Musee/9954/ |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
'Tis Awesome!!!  |
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Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
This was a very beautiful poem...I loved the wonderful imagery used here. I'm sure he will enjoy this very much...and if he doesn't I'll beat him! LOL Star ------------------ We are only truly apperciated after we are no more! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Nochtdraco - I'm wordless here - love it! It flows so well. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOw...this is truly breathtaking, nicely written |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Thank you all for reading and responding ... this is another that just seemed to write itself, with the exception of one stanza (the 7th, which I think is the weakest one in the poem) ... but thanks especially to traveler, who inspired me ... internet love is not a myth ... I'm proof! RobertB, the last line, along with "the sun in your eyes", was the first one that I thought of when I started writing this ... Interesting how when you have the first and the last, the rest sort of fills itself in ... Tara, I'd have to agree that this is my favorite too ... but for different reasons, I'm sure ... the circumstances under which it was written being first and foremost ... Star, I think he will most assuredly like this, but I ask that you refrain from beating him in any case (I'm rather fond of him, as you know) ... Hoot, Nan, Denise, Seymour, and Severn ... thank you for taking the time to tell me what you thought ... it means a great deal. Nocht |
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traveler Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119 |
yes, i love this one too ... course I can't expected to be very objective now can I ... "he only turned away to hide the tear in his eye" ... |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Oh My Nocht...this piece is gorgeous...I have copied it for my favorites file......your talent shines with this one my dear ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Beautiful words of love--the imagery was wonderful! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I hope you don't mind my reading some of your poems, I need the beauty of these words today and there ARE stunning. Kathleen--(Kay) |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
missing some of our older poets. I will not bend to the cowardice of a silent judgement. |
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*Stubby* Member
since 2002-09-19
Posts 122 |
All I can say thank you  greatly enjoyedJ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
cool write |
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