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Open Poetry #3
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Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648


0 posted 1999-10-08 11:16 PM


I sail serene
On sea of dreams
And drift along
calm tranquil streams;

I soar cloud fluffs
In azure sky
Above peak's crest
Where eagles fly;

In Paradise
I spend much time
There musing long
And penning rhyme;

'Tis truly this
Makes my heart throb;
I'm careful though
-I need my job!!



------------------
Denise

© Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved
caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
1 posted 1999-10-08 11:24 PM


~*LOL*~ Denise!! You and hoot are gonna get caught at work with ink on your hands!
Just do like I do...hehehe...tell them you're taking notes!

This poem likes me, D!

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"Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 1999-10-08 11:29 PM


Beautiful one Denise....I love the meter and rhyme in it also the subject matter is a bit close to my heart

caroline....I only write on break, unless you count writing in my mind, then I am always guilty of that

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Man can not discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 1999-10-09 12:41 PM


Thanks, Caroline and Hoot! (I don't really get a break or lunch at work, so I make my own 'breaks'!)

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Denise

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 1999-10-09 07:13 AM


I loved this one...love the twist at the end.. but it's a lovely, lovely poem!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 1999-10-09 08:48 AM


Denice,
Well done a touch of insight into your life.

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

6 posted 1999-10-09 10:16 AM


I float amid the clouds on high,
Carried by your odes sublime,
Beauteous thoughts expressed so well,
Now back to work, quit wasting time.

You do have a special talent Denise.

RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
7 posted 1999-10-09 11:44 AM


wow Denise...you like to twist the endings too?? Very nice poem.....I liked it much!!!

RB

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

8 posted 1999-10-09 12:51 PM


Thank you PdV, Seymour, Mike and Robert for reading and commenting. ....ahhhhhh Mike, do I have to *whining*! Robert, yes I love twisting endings! (closest I seem to be able to come to wit!)
Thanks again all!!!

------------------
Denise

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
9 posted 1999-10-09 11:45 PM


LOL, love the twist to the end of a beautiful work!

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*Krista Knutson*

Wise is he who faces the frailty of man with the strength of an understanding heart. -- Daniel L. Miller



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 1999-10-10 12:14 PM


Thanks, Krista, glad you liked it! It was fun to do!

------------------
Denise

Genea
Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 321
USA
11 posted 1999-10-13 09:46 AM


this flowed well and i love the 'surprise' ending.
Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
12 posted 1999-10-13 09:53 AM


Now that I am retired I no longer have to keep a 'cover' sheet handy to cover the evidence. Loved the ending as well.

Ohme

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
13 posted 1999-10-13 10:02 AM


Denise this was a great poem! You had me calm and serene at the beginning. Great job, great ending!
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
14 posted 1999-10-14 07:35 PM


Denise, I love it, from the first word until the last.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

15 posted 1999-10-14 07:45 PM


Genea, Ohme,WhtDove and Munda, I'm glad you liked this! I had fun writing it! Thank you for your lovely comments!

------------------
Denise

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
16 posted 1999-10-17 02:56 PM


Hehe - Don't they understand that this is more important?
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

17 posted 1999-10-17 03:50 PM


I know, what's WRONG with these people!
Thanks for reading and commenting, Nan, it's always appreciated!

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Denise

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
18 posted 1999-10-17 04:03 PM


Delightful piece Denise!

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May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

19 posted 1999-10-17 04:16 PM


Thank you much, Pepper, I'm glad you liked it!

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Denise

Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
20 posted 1999-10-17 04:21 PM


Denise, this poem was beautiful. I loved the twist ending too...i think everyone so far has.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

jac
New Member
since 1999-10-17
Posts 9
tx
21 posted 1999-10-17 04:24 PM


D, great job. I also post my poetry on this site! You are very talented!

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jac

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

22 posted 1999-10-17 04:25 PM


Thanks, SD, I'm glad you liked it too!
(sorry, all the smiley faces are gone...hehehehehe)!
...ooops...Why thank you jac! I'm glad you liked it too! (you beat me to the post!)
------------------
Denise

[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 10-17-1999).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
23 posted 1999-10-17 09:29 PM


There are so many that can relate to this here. I wonder why? Great poem.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

24 posted 1999-10-17 09:39 PM


Thanks for reading and commenting, Martie!
Yeah, I guess we're all cut from the same cloth!!! I'd rather write poetry than work anyday. Say I wonder if could find a job writing poetry!? Then I wouldn't even care that I worked long hours for little pay, no benefits (yet), no paid holidays, having to work holidays! Oh my, I do think I am going to look for another job soon! There are too many holidays coming up!

------------------
Denise


[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 10-17-1999).]

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