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Open Poetry #3
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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 1999-10-08 09:46 AM


deVine

If I was single an unattached,
I'd be tempted to answer your ad.

I too love a romantic fire
(Be careful long John, you rotten liar.)
I also love long slow walks,
(Geeze, I hope we don't hafta talk.)

I'm also model for the magazine GQ.
(Oh Gawd! If we meet, what'll I do?)
And you'd love what's in my heart,
(except for that bad and twisted part).

As you'd learn, I'm smart as a whip,
(Whips? My psychiatrist says get over it.)
I know all about bathroom sinks,
(I've seen plenty from too many drinks).

I drive a Porsche, I've been blessed.
(I'm unemployed, my Ford was repossessed).
Of course I'm not a soda jerk!
(My Gawd, quick, lie about work!)

And I have more than a ton of money
(I borrowed it all from past honeys).
So my money's my own rest assured.
(I hope I can borrow some of yours).

I would need more than a roll in the sack,
(Two or three rolls, then I'd not be back.)
But alas, I'm taken. Don't be sad,
You might find another winner with your personal ad.

© Copyright 1999 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 1999-10-08 09:54 AM




I fear sir, the best are taken
you are one, if I'm not mistaken
There seems to be a lack you see
of men able to handle one such as me

I ask not for your money or fame
rich or poor, I'll love you the same
Ugly, well, don't bother me so
I'd even settle for a little 'toe!

But he too is not free to take
so other plans I must make
I plan to search and not give up
(my plastic man now, I must blow up!)



LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
2 posted 1999-10-08 09:59 AM


*perk* Blow???? lol - nice riposte
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
3 posted 1999-10-08 10:50 AM


ROFLMAO...Devine, don't blow too hard.
LJA, have you no mercy? LOL

Devine, you'll find him!

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 1999-10-08 11:17 AM


And LongJohn suggests I took alot of LSD in my teens?...Geesch! You are a very sick individual. Yanno that LJA?.....Let me know if Lorelei runs out of valium or xanax man.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 1999-10-08 11:32 AM


ROFLMAO!!!
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
6 posted 1999-10-08 11:54 AM


Tanks LongJohn and Devine for stating my day off with a huge laugh.



------------------
Michael Anderson

When God puts a tear in your eye,
He puts a rainbow in your heart.



LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
7 posted 1999-10-08 01:29 PM


I owe it all to lil deVine. Thank you for your encouragement.
Mr. Cucumber
Junior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 18

8 posted 1999-10-08 04:18 PM


This was a wonderful poem, Long John. Do you think you could write one for me that I could share with this cute little turnip two rows over?
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
9 posted 1999-10-08 04:29 PM


Ha ha ha...that's all I need to say.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."


Justin Thyme
Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216
Oz
10 posted 1999-10-08 05:15 PM


Justin Thyme, you wrote an ad
and ol' Long John responded.
But now you're with your blow up boy!
(The one you have absconded)

The ad you placed was personal --
no deVine intervention,
But if you hang with blow up boys
what was the ad's intention?

The answer man was not your type
and so you chose some plastic?
The ones that answer classifieds
ALL say they are fantastic!

So, when you're through with Plastic Bob,
do you think you'll want another?
I think I'll save the personals,
Justin Kace I see my brother!


hehehe
-Justin T.

LJA'sLorelei54
Junior Member
since 1999-09-24
Posts 18
Gaithersburg, MD
11 posted 1999-10-08 07:17 PM


Lets see if I can fill in the gaps ole' long john left out of his ad:
First of all he's not unattached, so thats one point in his favor. #2 yep..he loves romantic fires #3...long slow walks? nope...you oughta try to do the mall with him! so far 2-1 #4 model? hmmmm something like out of modeling clay? hmmmm 2 to 2 now #5 smart?(brilliant) yep and #6 sinks? I've seen him fix a couple, so now its 4 to 2 #7 drive a porsche? nope..never! #8 a soda jerk? well, the second part is correct..he can be a "jerk" at times #8 a ton of money? does that include what he owes? LOL I think the score now is 4 to 5 and re: #9 the money being "all mine"...for a short time, it might be (4 to 6) and last but not least about #10 and the rolls in the sack..I'll give him a couple of extra points on that one and even out the score, and say he is a winner !

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

12 posted 1999-10-08 08:39 PM


Thanks for the laughter everyone!

------------------
Denise

Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
13 posted 1999-10-08 08:44 PM


I begin to believe the 'perfect' man does not exist!

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
14 posted 1999-10-08 09:23 PM


DeVine one, pardon my interjection,
Your problem is..you seek perfection.
You bemoan the fact that no one can
Fulfill the role of "perfect" man.

The fact is, we are all just human,
No "perfect" man or "perfect" woman.
We all have faults and failures, too
And how we act is up to you.

You want a man who stays at home?
Delete from him the wish to roam.
Fix the sink or set the table?
Show him that you think he's able.

A man to keep your sex life full?
Keep yourself desireable.
A man who makes a decent living?
Make him feel the need for giving.

Don't start out with some mystic plan
To seek and find the "perfect" man.
Just be the best that YOU can be...
The "perfect" man will come to thee.

And, if he doesn't, what's the cost?
What's the worst thing you have lost?
You've made yourself the very best.
The loss is theirs. Forget the rest.

Pufalove
Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 119
Houston, Tx. USA
15 posted 1999-10-08 09:44 PM


Balladeer, how can I top that. I was going to say there is a lot of blowin' goin' on, but then you had that to go and get serious.

I agree with each and every word you say
Sadly it doesn't always work that way
For even though you're the best you can be
Many men are blind, the you they cannot see!

Lorelei(someone told me your're naughty and nice, must be lots of fun)

Oh, and Johnny, great funny reading (and you roll in the sack?????!!!! too much!)



------------------
O all ye powers that he implanted, Arise, keep silence no more; put forth the strength that he hath granted, your noblest work is to adore.


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
16 posted 1999-10-09 12:10 PM


Laughing here....very nice one Long John, not sure what was funnier though, your poem or all the replies
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
17 posted 1999-10-09 07:02 AM


Balladeer, I know there is no such thing as a perfect man! Though I think some of the poets here are very close to being perfect (including you and Toe of course). Thanks for the poem, there is so much truth in it. We all sometimes seek perfection in a mate when we are so much less than perfect ourselves.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
18 posted 1999-10-09 07:54 AM


Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, excuse me devine, but this is my poem topic so you have to compliment me each time you post. I'm sure it was an oversight so you are for given this time.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
19 posted 1999-10-09 11:58 AM


Excuse me Sir LngJhnAg...I thought you knew my appreciation and admiration of you and your cleverness filled each line I wrote. I shall endeavor to make it up to you somehow. Let me think...how can I make it up to you.....hmmmmmm..perhaps in the Adult Forum!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

20 posted 1999-10-09 01:48 PM


LongJohn-cover your eyes for a minute! OK-
GREAT POEM BALLADEER! OK, you can open your eyes now, LJ!

------------------
Denise

U K Hero
Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266
England
21 posted 1999-10-09 04:14 PM


excellent... well thought out loved it.
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
22 posted 1999-10-09 05:54 PM


wonderful.....too much fun!!!!

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
23 posted 1999-10-09 10:10 PM


ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Thanks for the laughter (and now the sideache) everyone!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Wise is he who faces the frailty of man with the strength of an understanding heart. -- Daniel L. Miller



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