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Open Poetry #3
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California

0 posted 1999-10-06 08:30 PM


Balladeer's Par (LongJohn's Scar!)

He looked outside to a sun-shiny day,
So LongJohn headed out to the golf course.
Something seemed to be pushing him that way,
Yeah, almost an irresistible force.

Well, he soon arrived there, and sure enough,
Befell his old nemesis, Balladeer!
In the making, this was of truly the stuff -
Only Fate and Justice could engineer.

Primed for revenge, he spoke to Balladeer,
"I got five hundred dollars, says you suck!"
Well, Balladeer just grinned from ear to ear,
As he grabbed the golf clubs out of his truck.

Well, they each hit a few bogies and pars,
The game had turned out to be really tight.
They had raised the stakes from money to cars,
Before the eighteenth tee had come to sight.

Balladeer found himself down by one shot,
And LongJohn had hit by far his best drive.
Everyone watching held there breath in thought -
A perfect shot MIGHT keep Bally alive.

LongJohn, watching in anticipation,
Very well new victory to be near...
Longing to compound Bally's frustration,
Threw a fake cough with a snicker and sneer.

But with the club drawn back, Bally still swung,
And everyone here knows how tension mounts...
Well, the club slipped right out and pain was wrung,
Coming to hit LongJohn just where it counts.

The ambulance arrived and Bally spoke,
"I really hate to see you have to quit."
Adding, "I really liked your coughing joke,"
(grabbing Johns keys), "by the way - you forfeit."

The operation wasn't serious,
A little snip there, a little stitch here.
But, indeed, all of us are curious...
How will he do without sex for a year?

There is a moral for all of us here,
Let me reiterate before I'm Gone...
Don't ever bet against ol' Balladeer,
Lest ye end up like poor "Not So Long" John.

------------------
Michael Anderson

When God puts a tear in your eye,
He puts a rainbow in your heart.




[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 10-07-1999).]

© Copyright 1999 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 1999-10-06 08:36 PM


Terrific, Michael!...and that's just the way it happened, too. To win, ya always keep your eye on the ball...and hit it squarely. Now, a three inch putt is longer than LongJohn's wanger....and harder, too!
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
2 posted 1999-10-06 08:37 PM


ROFLMAO...Good one Michael! Balladeer that's what they really call a low blow! LOL
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
3 posted 1999-10-06 08:43 PM


Michael this is wonderful......thank you for all the smiles and the laugh out loud........

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 1999-10-06 08:44 PM


LOL! Excellent! Never understood the game anyway..balls..holes...putts...sounds nasty!
caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
5 posted 1999-10-06 08:47 PM


~~**LOL**~~!!!!!


Fore!

------------------
"Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

6 posted 1999-10-06 08:58 PM


Well done indeed my friend. Humor suits you.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
7 posted 1999-10-07 01:15 AM


Ha Ha Michael.. this poem is better then I ever could have imagined it would be..heheh.

Dreams right.. humor suits you!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 1999-10-07 10:05 AM


ROFL... So that explains why the sailor sings soprano! *G*
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
9 posted 1999-10-07 10:26 AM


Michael! Balladeer!
Are you two bein' haved in this here forum???
Aren't you two 'sposed to be the ones setting a good example?? Geesh - What's moderatorism coming to these days??..

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
10 posted 1999-10-07 11:15 AM


Yea, yassee Nan?...They're a bad influence on me....I mean, I was a virgin before I came here and now look at me?....Between these two, Poet deVine, and some of the others I'm becoming such a bad person...Geeesch!!!

Michael...well, yanno old LongJohn calls his little "putter" Arnold......yep....he's a real Arnold "Palmer"....LOL

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 1999-10-07 11:43 AM


ROFLMAO @ Arnold!!!

Michael & Balladeer: SHAME on you for being such bad influences!!!! LOL. And please don't change! *G*

The Unknown Poet
Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34
Somewhere West of No-Where
12 posted 1999-10-07 03:39 PM


Ah, Nan, don't go so hard on Michael and balladeer...I saw the whole thing, Long John started it all. He should get the public spanking ya know?

------------------
the unknown

what you don't know can't hurt you,
But more than likely can drive you mad.

Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102
Texas
13 posted 1999-10-07 04:29 PM


lolol

gimme a *B* gimme an *A* gimme a double *L*
this was great!

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot



Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
14 posted 1999-10-08 09:10 AM


Yea, but LongJohn likes being spanked pubicly.....
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
15 posted 1999-10-08 09:56 AM


This is an outrage!!! This is unforgiveable! This is a dirty lie! THIS IS SUPERB!

Michael - because we are fellow Michaels (you, me and 'Deer), what you wrote is quite alright. All the rest of you wannabe's - don't even go there. *g*

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