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*~*butterfly*~*
Junior Member

since 1999-07-26

Posts 28
minnesota

0 posted 1999-10-05 11:22 PM

~WHEN~
have you ever felt like this is as good as it gets,
like this is all that life has to offer you.
have you ever felt like your life is pointless,
like everything you loved has lost all its meaning.
have you ever felt like nobody understands what its like for you,
when you feel completely alone.
when will all this pain inside be released,
when will the day come, when i for once appreciate me for who i am.

have you ever thought that you can't live like this,
trying to please everyone but yourself.
have you ever thought that you'll never be treated
the way that you treat them.
have you ever thought that you can't face tomorrow,
like every day just gets worse and worse.
have you ever thought that all your friends are for, is to betray you.

when will i stop worrying about everything,
and live a normal teenage life.

have you ever wondered if you died today,
what your funeral would be like.
have you ever wondered who would cry,
or who wouldn't.
have you ever wondered what your family would think of you,
if you chose the easy way out.
have you ever wondered if the so-called friends that betrayed you,
would they finally admit how they destroyed this girls innocent heart,
would they cry.

i feel terrible thinking these thoughts, but i just want them to feel some of the pain that i feel everyday.

when will all of these thoughts, feelings, and worries go away?
when will i be happy again, like when i was a little girl?
when will someone want to get to know the real me, instead of running when the relationship gets serious?

when will i need not worry about the future getting better,
and just be happy with the present?!

------------------
"Rely on your instincts and trust your heart."
--unknown
~*~*~butterfly~*~*~

Star Fairy 2
Member

since 1999-09-06

Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa

1 posted 1999-10-05 11:38 PM

i dont know.. but i hope it comes soon.. for me and you.. cuz its slowly becoming easier and easier to take the knife.

------------------
Happiness is a journey.. not a destination
-------823-------

Sally S.
Senior Member

since 1999-06-07

Posts 847
Ohio

2 posted 1999-10-05 11:45 PM

Butterfly,
It looks like you are (or were) very confused and very sad. (And if this is not a reflection of your current situation, please forgive the following) Let me say that I am in no way, shape or form an expert but, I can tell you that if you feel like your world is falling apart..please, PLEASE talk to someone. No matter what people may say or think... the turmoil a teenager may face is real! There are so many places to go if you need a shoulder..or someone to listen. Feel free to email me if you like.
On a lighter side..um....the old saying.."It does get better" does apply. I know it seems helpless at times...but TIME does change things. Take care, Sally

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

3 posted 1999-10-05 11:57 PM

I remember the very real pain you express when I was a teenager too. It does get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it yet. Most of us have been there and have felt that same pain. Don't ever give up, or consider ending it all. That's too permanent a solution for a temporay situation. Talk to someone about your feelings. You have to. That's the start of things getting better.

------------------
Denise

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