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Open Poetry #3
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Blinded By Battle (An Acrostic)
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Blinded By Battle (An Acrostic) |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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(You will notice I had to play with the meter in a few places. I started and finished this as an acrostic, but am not sure if the acrostic adds or distracts from this one) Blinded By Battle (An Acrostic) Into the night their weapons fired; and the Night grew into day The soldiers marched into the battle Heads held high, Elite, were they Countries challenged other countries Oceans crossed, the lands destroyed United, soldiers marched in battle Naval ships and jets employed Tens of thousands would be heroes Raged against their fellow man Young or old, it made no difference Over countless hills they ran Fearless in their quest for victory They stood tall and took their aim Hit and felled intended targets Ever strong the soldiers came Blinded in the rage of battle Loosing not, to claim defeat Into war, they carried onward Nameless faces on the street Donned with guns and bullets many Officers to guide their way Never fearing, they moved onward Lighting darkest night to day Years of careful preparation and The best of weaponry Half the world enjoined together Engaged in battle to be free Only one can be the victor Now the final hour’s here Each man stands against the other Each refuses to show fear Yielding never, they continue Endless gunshots fill the air Dying soldiers fall beside them Masks of death, their comrades wear Every man no longer thinking Numb and blind beyond compare “All or nothing!” scream their leaders Resounding shouts, “the victory’s near!” Early morning light arises Killed and wounded lie in wait In the final stage of battle No one recognized their fate Guns once roaring, now are silent ~and with the rising of the sun Screams of pain have all grown quiet ~a war was fought, but no one won (*Incase you don't want to figure the whole thing out for yourself, the acrostic is: In the country of the blind only the one eyed men are kings) ------------------ Alis volat propriis [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 11-01-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Hoot, A remarkable work, it was unexpected from you, but a very good piece, I meant writing about war. Good job. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Laughing....I'm glad you clarified that Seymore, was beginning to wonder there. Now the question... Does the acrostic add to or distract from this piece? [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 11-01-1999).] |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Hoot this was very well done! I think the acrostic adds to it. It gives for a deep meaning to the rest of it. Excellent piece of work my friend! |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Enjoyed the read hoot. I also agree with Dove.. makes it stronger.. |
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Craig Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444 |
This poem is an excellent example of an acrostic well done, It just adds proof to what I've thought about your writing since you started posting. Well done. Craig ------------------ Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool: But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Awesome Ruth! In my op, I think the acrostic doesn't detract in the slightest, though pointing it out did make me read it first!  I see I'm starting to have some acrostic competition! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thank you everyone...another 4 AM rant. Craig, I appreciate your compliment, thank you very much Chris, you competition? Never. I am a novice on acrostics in comparision to you. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Lady Hoot: That's one heavy-duty acrostic! I've heard this saying before and I find that it only enhances the message behind your words. Not to take away from anything that you've done in the past, but I like the change of subject matter for you as well. I heard that during WWII the average age of the American soldier was 25... in Korea it was 23 and in Viet Nam 19. And something about the younger men not being wise enough to realize their own mortality, thus possessing a greater desire to do battle... being blind to one's fate. All in all, a fine read. Thanks for the time and effort. I bow to you and yours. |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Excellent Hoot. No one evers wins in war. ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow! What on earth were you worried about? Fantastic job, Ruth. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is fantastic Hoot! I believe the acrostic definitely adds to this piece. Well done. ------------------ Denise |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Excellent message and verse Ruth. ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Wow, Ruth....astounding work!!! I love the acrostic too......just...wonderful!! ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Denise, Severn, watcher, dream and systematic....wow, thank you all for your comments and I guess I will leave it as it is with the acrostic intact Sir Andrew...Thank you, it was a nice change of subject. I like what you said about the average age of soldiers, but, young and old alike, when faced with rage, can be blinded. The quest for power in itself blinds many a man/woman. ------------------ Alis volat propriis |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
this is a nicely done message miss hoot yuh as always am impressed and it didnt take way from the message cuz i ignored the acrostic yuh |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thanks Walt |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
I like very much, the message is a good one and the acrostic is not a detractor from the body of the poem. Great work Jenny |
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Blackdrake Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 83Depends on the day :) |
Excellent. The acrostic does not take anything away from the poem , but enhances the message. ------------------ Thy own Darkness shall conquer the Light |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Wow, Ruth. You outdid yourself with this. Very powerful message you delivered here, and an acrostic to boot! Amazing ability you have! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Jenny and Blackdrake, thank you both Tara, you got me blushing here...thanks for the boost back up by the way |
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