Open Poetry #3 |
The Night I Met You (A challange from Whtdove) |
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
The Night I Met You The south wind blew mellow Grass was covered in dew The pale moon shone brightly On the night I met you The mist on the ocean Was just starting to rise Breath caught for a moment When I looked in your eyes The depths of my own soul It reflected was there And just for a moment Became too much to bear You mirrored all my fears All my hurt and my pain You pulled me in gently As it started to rain The downpour refreshing We could not feel it’s chill It ended abruptly And the night became still I heard your heart beating It was so near to mine Two hearts became one heart Beating rhythms in time We walked by the ocean Saw the lights from the ships You pulled me in closer As you first kissed my lips Were the stars that I glimpsed In the skies or my mind? Were the feelings I felt Dreams that I’d hoped to find? Was it cool when we met That night in November? I was lost in your eyes And I can’t remember ------------------ This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. ~Eurpides |
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© Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
How beautiful, hoot. I really love this one. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Well my dear friend! You certainly rose to the occasion! sigh...beautiful work but I knew it would be. Love it!!! |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Hoot, this is lovely. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Hoot! I love this! I grew up at the ocean, met my first love there, and I can see myself in this poem. I can also envision you and your love as well. The imagery is perfect. Corinne |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Beautiful poem, Hoot...and the meter is wonderful. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Hoot, I can only emulate Balladeer, beautiful poem wonderful meter. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is very beautiful, Hoot! So dreamy! ------------------ Denise |
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Verma Member
since 1999-10-25
Posts 80Midlands, England |
what more can i say other than beautiful... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thanks everyone for your kind comments Balladeer, thanks for pointing out the fact the meter didn't quite catch it on the first version...and thanks for your comment about it here |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
*Sigh*....beautiful Hoot. : ) |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
So beautiful Hoot, another big (sigh) ------------------ Cast your eyes on the ocean, Every man goes down to his death bearing in his hands only that which he has given away... ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Absolutely spellbinding! --Kess ------------------ You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Munda, Isis and Skyfire...thank you for your comments marzar...what a wonderful comment, I'm not sure I am deserving of it, but thank you none the less |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Lovely...but that's not a surprise! |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Loved this....so beautiful! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hoot, this is truly beautiful, loved it ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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handbagsatfiftypaces Junior Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 12 |
yes it's good hoot, it has almost perfect rhyme and meter and all that. it makes me sad |
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