navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #3 » Sailing To You (My first and probably only pitiful attempt at a sestina)
Open Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Sailing To You (My first and probably only pitiful attempt at a sestina) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

0 posted 1999-10-02 02:29 AM


Sailing To You (My attempt at a Sestina)

For years it seems I’ve been stuck here
Adrift at sea, no sign of shore
Vision clouded by thick, dark mist
No gentle wind to catch my sail
I long to feel your warm embrace
And have you come to me tonight

I want to give my love tonight
Darling with you beside me here
My hands reach out to your embrace
Like a drowning man reaches towards the shore
You’ll guide my way when I set sail
Be my light house beacon in the mist

I can see you through clearing mist
You're ever so close to me tonight
I’ve loosed my anchor to set sail
Across the waters I'll bring you here
Landing safely upon my shore
Gently sailing in my embrace

Caught up in our loves embrace
Wrapped gently in the oceans mist
We’ll find ourselves upon the shore
In the confines of my dreams tonight
You and I, we’re together here
And on loves gentle wings we sail

My heart beats strong, it’s taken sail
Overwhelmed in your warm embrace
I’ve traveled in my dreams to meet here
I’ve lost myself inside the mist
And found myself with you tonight
No longer longing for the shore

I’ve landed safe upon your shore
I’ve taken flight and given sail
To meet you in my dreams tonight
Encaptured in nights sweet embrace
Surrounded by the seas cool mist
I’ll close my eyes to find you here

Together in my dreams we’re here
And in the early morning mist
We become one in loves embrace

------------------
It is better to be silent and be considered a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.



[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 10-03-1999).]

© Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-10-02 02:43 AM


The format is excellent and well done. Your choice of content is understandable and well written. Your sestina likes me much.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
2 posted 1999-10-02 02:50 AM


absolutely beautiful Hoot........

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

johnt300
Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 214
san diego, ca.
3 posted 1999-10-02 02:57 AM


Excellent! I can't say anymore than excellent! I hope you set sail very soon! Until then...
Tyson

Dragoness
Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513

4 posted 1999-10-02 03:39 AM


Prefect! Absolutly prefect!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
5 posted 1999-10-02 04:38 AM


Wow, thank you all, I really wasn't too pleased with this, thanks for your replies
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
6 posted 1999-10-02 04:48 AM


IMHO, the only pitiful thing is that this is your last one!
Well done Ruth, especially knowing how hard this format is first hand!

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
7 posted 1999-10-02 08:13 AM


Ruth, It's time to take center stage for the applause is taking place, and I hear an echo chanting encore. This is excellent.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
8 posted 1999-10-02 09:32 AM


You succeeded! This is good - what do you think of 'form' poetry? I don't like the restriction!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
9 posted 1999-10-02 11:56 AM


Christopher, thanks very much for your kind reply

Lost Dreamer, I would be glad to if I felt I deserved the applause, but thank you

Poet, would "I hate it" be too strong...LOL. I am not pleased with this poem, so I must say I don't like form poetry. You are correct in the fact it places too many restrictions on one. This is not how I write poetry, my poems just come natural, this was probably the most unnatural thing I have ever done. I am going to try a few more forms though, just to satisfy my curiosity

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #3 » Sailing To You (My first and probably only pitiful attempt at a sestina)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary