Open Poetry #3 |
Sailing To You (My first and probably only pitiful attempt at a sestina) |
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Sailing To You (My attempt at a Sestina) For years it seems I’ve been stuck here Adrift at sea, no sign of shore Vision clouded by thick, dark mist No gentle wind to catch my sail I long to feel your warm embrace And have you come to me tonight I want to give my love tonight Darling with you beside me here My hands reach out to your embrace Like a drowning man reaches towards the shore You’ll guide my way when I set sail Be my light house beacon in the mist I can see you through clearing mist You're ever so close to me tonight I’ve loosed my anchor to set sail Across the waters I'll bring you here Landing safely upon my shore Gently sailing in my embrace Caught up in our loves embrace Wrapped gently in the oceans mist We’ll find ourselves upon the shore In the confines of my dreams tonight You and I, we’re together here And on loves gentle wings we sail My heart beats strong, it’s taken sail Overwhelmed in your warm embrace I’ve traveled in my dreams to meet here I’ve lost myself inside the mist And found myself with you tonight No longer longing for the shore I’ve landed safe upon your shore I’ve taken flight and given sail To meet you in my dreams tonight Encaptured in nights sweet embrace Surrounded by the seas cool mist I’ll close my eyes to find you here Together in my dreams we’re here And in the early morning mist We become one in loves embrace ------------------ It is better to be silent and be considered a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 10-03-1999).] |
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© Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
The format is excellent and well done. Your choice of content is understandable and well written. Your sestina likes me much. ------------------ Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
absolutely beautiful Hoot........ ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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johnt300 Member
since 1999-09-12
Posts 214san diego, ca. |
Excellent! I can't say anymore than excellent! I hope you set sail very soon! Until then... Tyson |
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
Prefect! Absolutly prefect! ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow, thank you all, I really wasn't too pleased with this, thanks for your replies |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
IMHO, the only pitiful thing is that this is your last one! Well done Ruth, especially knowing how hard this format is first hand! |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Ruth, It's time to take center stage for the applause is taking place, and I hear an echo chanting encore. This is excellent. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You succeeded! This is good - what do you think of 'form' poetry? I don't like the restriction! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Christopher, thanks very much for your kind reply Lost Dreamer, I would be glad to if I felt I deserved the applause, but thank you Poet, would "I hate it" be too strong...LOL. I am not pleased with this poem, so I must say I don't like form poetry. You are correct in the fact it places too many restrictions on one. This is not how I write poetry, my poems just come natural, this was probably the most unnatural thing I have ever done. I am going to try a few more forms though, just to satisfy my curiosity |
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