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Open Poetry #3
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Leonardo's Lament.... or "Life in the 'stute"
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Leonardo's Lament.... or "Life in the 'stute" |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Leonardo's Lament ... or.... Life in the 'stute I told them I could paint real fine. They did not believe me. They said those paintings weren't mine! They were trying to deceive me! I'm Leonardo, yes I am! I told them with a grin. And showed my painting to them, and then they let me in. It was the Mona Lisa I painted it, I said. But they did not believe me as they strapped me to the bed. They shipped me off to Richmond so they could do some tests-- examined all my functions to figure out this mess. They stuck me with some needles-- took blood from inside out. They asked me stupid questions to learn what I'm about. They took away my necktie. They took away my belt. They gave me a white bracelet that was made out of felt. They watched me sleep and watched me eat and sat me in a chair and when I mentioned Lisa, they quick shaved off my hair. They put a hat upon my head that looked like leaning Pisa. And so I asked them one more time if they liked my Mona Lisa. I went to the cafeteria, ate meat loaf and some cake. I was eating very calmly -- not to make mistakes. I sat there dipping gravy, about to take a bite when soon a tray flew by me! I saw an awful fight! Meatloaf started flying and spinach through the air! But I just sat there eating. I really didn't care. They punched each other in the nose and threw some spoons and pie. I ducked and took another bite and watched the plates fly by. I finished my first helping, chairs, tables hit the floor. Then rose to go get seconds because I wanted more. They gave me a pink bracelet for outside in the sun. I sat in lovely gardens alone with everyone. They gave me a big pill to take and then a glass of juice. The sun shone on the daisies. I was feeling mighty loose. I looked for Mona Lisa but she was not around. I started watching spiders crawling on the ground. My name is Leonardo! I yelled until they heard. I don't belong in Richmond! This whole thing is absurd! They said I would be transferred to Saint Sophia's 'stute. I asked if Mona could come too. They said I was a fruit. Life inside the institute was pretty strange, but cool. I'm hoping Saint Sophia's will have a swimming pool. -Leonardo DiVinci |
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| © Copyright 1999 Justin Thyme - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ONE FLEW OVER Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 55Cuckoos Nest |
Justin You got me laughing so hard I almost could not hold it. Where is Lisa now? |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Definately "Leo's Lament" Oh to be institutionalized again. You're so lucky. The Unknown |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
*G* This is really good....I like the way it flows and the subject matter is perfect...makes for a great little piece!! Jenny |
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Justin Kace Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 82Oz |
Now Justin Kace You doubt his rhyme I know that face He's Justin Thyme Who is this guy? He looks like me! Comes to my 'stute Pretends to be The great DaVinci Sans Hirsute... No one but me Will give a hoot. It's plain to see That he's my twin. Reluctlantly They let him in. To gain entry He had to say He would bring me My dinner tray. Meat loaf he caught As it flew by With that he got Sauce from his eye. And then to my Bedside he came It's dinner, Thyme Justin's the name. He says that he Can paint a smile Entrancingly With just beguile. It is a myth He's just a fool He's happy with A swimming pool Here at my 'stute He'll stay as me I've much to do Now that I'm free And they will think That he is me I've made "The Last Judgment" you see. To Sistene Chapel, I must go Because - I'm Michelangelo!!!  |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
OH, c'mon ONE FLEW.... don't jive these people! You know why this struck your funny chord, little buddy... you were the one with the damn flying pizza! I *still* can't believe they let you outa there. When nurse cratchet told me you were getting released, I almost punched HER in the nose... you getting out before me??? LOL. Unbelievable. And you know where Lisa is, too! You took that straw and used some ketchup and mustard and started painting her a new smile.... you little... you little.... schizo! Now, from now on, keep it honest around here, huh? -hehehe Justin T. |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Hey Justin, my long lost twin! Paint on, brotha!! Love the lyric melody but of course you knew I would..... we be the best damn lyricists in that ol' 'stute! Listen, though, better be careful 'cause I heard nurse ratchet is hanging around these forums posting under some pseudonym and if she puts two and two together and comes up with four, your ass is grass, my friend! ONE FLEW said she was on to us sneakin' over into the administrative offices to use their 'puter. So, keep it easy and light.... watch your back! Oh, and next time you get on, send me the URL so I can see that really cool mural you put up in that church.Those dummies never believed we could paint! LOL! You've got one mean brush stroke, my twin! Do you BELIEVE that ONE FLEW meatloaf slinging dude pretending he didn't know nothin' about all this? How do you think he got his name? One meatloaf flew, one fork flew, one table flew.... geez.  Justin T. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You guys are all a scream! And quite talented too! Keep 'em coming! ------------------ Denise |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Far be it from me to interfere, But have either of you seen my ear? And though I really like your rhyme, Both justin Kase and Justin Thyme. You must speak fast, I must soon go, For I'm the great Vincent VanGogh. The Unknown |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
you guys are fantastic....I love it ..ROTFLMAO......please keep it up ..... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Hey VanGogh!!! My Main Man!!! What the heck are YOU doing over here? Good to see ya, bud! Oh, but btw, that wasn't your ear, it was half of your brain. Lobotomy, remember? LOL. Well maybe you don't remember. Cya in the mindzap line! Hold onto your hat! Last one zapped me down for a week! |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Hey guys....stop it!!!...What's a girl to do on a Saturday night but smile along with you?..*g* Btw, I'm the ceiling...ooops HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Justin Kace Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 82Oz |
OMiGod.... Was that the ear Belonged to Vince 'Twas in my pie And not quite minced? My brother dear Brought it to me Caught on the fly I plainly see How do you hear Mister VanGogh? This 'stute is mine You surely know... |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Y'all definitely belong in the 'stute.  ------------------ Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
I hear just fine Justin Kase, One ear works just as good as two. So wipe the smirk off your face. I have something to share with you. I know you should be basket weaving, So I will make this brief, you know. Cause no one here's really believing That you are Michelangelo!!! Now I don't mean to drop the dime On that brother you hold so dear But Justin thyme made it just in time, To save from you my lovely ear. He switched it with Mona Lisa' big toe, Said he owed at least this much to you. I found it oddly strange, even so, You found it so easy to chew. So I say now go paint your chapel I will give you no more slack. They may have given me the scalpel, But at least I got my ear back. Vincent |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
You may have gotten your ear back, Vincent, but half your brain's still missing.... justin kace you hadn't noticed... it was a lobotomy, remember? Oh yeah, you STILL don't remember.. LOL... better brush up on your paint strokes, little buddy. JT |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
you all should be relocked in the 'stute. you need all the help you can get. though I'm quite sure that it's true it's just a little too late for you for your ears are red and green and the nurse is really mean and soon the peas will start to turn as the pages start to burn and poor lil' mona will cease to be because your petty ass is free... hehe p.s. I'll burn her.... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Oh, what a job the young boy had! It wasn't very hard But was a job disdained by all In that hospital ward. When they prepped someone for surgery Before they made a cut The young boy's job it was to pick All small hairs from the butt. It was a necessary task, Infection to avoid, But not too glamorous to pick Those small hairs from that void. Years later, he discovered that His talent was quite rare At taking paints and canvas Making masterpieces there. He decided to use a ficticious name As seemed to be the craze So he fashioned one from that silly job Of his old hospital days. One thing I haven't understood Although I'm not so dumb, I must confess I do not know Where the "Pablo" came from. |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Ok, I was following all of this until this balladeer dude comes in and writes some verse I didn't understand. What's all this have to do with hairs on someone's butt? I don't get it. Prepping someone for surgery? A fictitious name because that's some kind of "craze"? LOL... sounds CRAZY to me.... hehehe. Ok, so we got a few nuts around here, but what's this dude balladeer sneezing about? Oh, and as far as Pablo is concerned.... damn... he's over there... there he is now.. he's in the 'stute here alright, with the rest of us. Want me to ask him to post something? LOL. Hey, balladeer, little buddy.... you sure you don't belong in here with us? Ok, gotta jet.... nurse ratchet's a cratchet and she's out to get me yet... see some of you in the cafeteria in the morning. 2 eggs scrambled like your brain..... hold the fruit.  jt that's me |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
LOL |
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Scribe Junior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 14Capetown, South Africa |
you've all gone nuts and i must confess tis all my fault i caused this mess although i've not been here too long i am the Lisa who's here and gone this is hilarious ------------------ "just another lost child, trying to find my way" |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
You're alive, Lisa, I knew you was, Wasn't sure at first just because Justin Thyme ate your big toe, And you were burned by Desperado! But that's o.k, for all the while, We know now why you only half smile. Gotta run now, gotta go, I've got some questions for Pablo! Vincent [This message has been edited by The Unknown Poet (edited 09-26-1999).] |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Pablo, Pablo, there you are, I have been seaching long and far. For once I had this surgery, And guess what, 'twas you who prepped me Now, it's no secret all can see The scar from the lobotomy. But even though I've half a brain, At least what half I have is sane. This being so, questions lie there, Why did you remove my butt hair? I always knew you were schizo, But do you really think your PicASSo? Vincent [This message has been edited by The Unknown Poet (edited 09-26-1999).] |
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Pablo Junior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 12 |
Hey, Balladeer! What's that you say? I think you are a NUT! That isn't true! My last name's real. It's not a nickname for my butt! Next time I paint a painting here inside this institute. I think I'll paint a painting of you in your birthday suit! You seem to be hung up on butts I think that's sort of strange. My painting will depict your head and butt, swapped, interchanged. Don't mess with me, dear Balladeer! I'm artiste, yes, first class! Because you've started rumors here, your face will be your ***. sincerely yours, Pablo |
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ONE FLEW OVER Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 55Cuckoos Nest |
Someone here is mistaken for I have done no faking. My honesty rings as true as dry grass meets fallen dew. You think I changed a smile with the ketchup from a pile. Way wrong there my friend I'll deny this till the end. I will admit salting days as I attacked feather lei's. Nothing else will you have over me, except a purple Lav. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
ROFLMAO...You guys are hillarious! Great poems back and forth. Keep up the laughter! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Just a little pen-prick This won't hurt a bit Justin Kace you are sick How's that jacket fit? Made from " fine corinthian leather " Stitched by Ricardo Montalban When you're feeling under the weather We'll let you try it on The buckles of patina , green Hand made by Juan Valdez When he's not picking coffee beans A least that's what he says The leather staps so sturdy Hold you in their embrace For when you get too wordy Justin Thyme or Justin Kace Though the canvas isn't painted It was woven by Van Gogh If this assertion you think tainted Ask him , he'll say so And those baskets that you're weaving Are the cause of Lisa's smile But I'm afraid I must be leaving To make my rounds takes quite a while Dr. Moose |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
What? That's it? Come on, I'm enjoying this. (Maybe I should be in the 'stute'!) ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 09-26-1999).] |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Hiya Doc! How in the heck did you know where to find us all? You're really somethin' else for sure, dude! Hey, keep this under your hat, ok? You're not going to get us in any trouble over this are you? After all, we can't help it, really we can't. We're NUTS! mwahahahaha! Whatever you do, I warn you, if nurse ratchet finds out, you're in just as much trouble as we are so .... hehehe... I just know you'll keep a lid on it. Hey, out on your rounds, do me a favor, huh? Tell Pablo I thought his poem was wicked kewl! Trading a head for a balladeer butt... LOL. |
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Justin Kace Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 82Oz |
Whew..... I got another whole section done on the Sistene today..... OMiGod...... I just had another hallucination.... I was sure I saw a Moose in doctor's scrubs go by my door....YIKES!!!! |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Well it's come to my attention There's something strange going on here. Yeah, everything was going smoothe, And then comes along Balladeer. Speading viscious rumors, About poor 'ol pablo. Now pablo's peeved and we're all grieved, 'Cept Michelangelo. He's too busy painting the chapel, Bet he doesn't even know Lisa's back with Leonardo, Albeit without her toe. There was even a drive by By good ol' Desperado. And I even got my ear back, I, the great Vincent VanGogh. Now what I find so strange here, 'Tis a fact we all well know. Only the truly great artist Have names that end in O. So what is he trying to pull, This sneaky Balladeer? Me thinks it to be mutiny, The moose is in on it, I fear. I saw him taking rounds with Ratchet. A repulsive thought, I can't refute. Yeah, it's plain to me, he longs to be Balladeer, King of the stute. Vincent [This message has been edited by The Unknown Poet (edited 09-27-1999).] |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
How long did you think it would take me to find you? I have my spies you know. Problem is I found you here on this board, but somehow your escaping me over here. I will find your buddy Balladeer, and get him to spill the beans on where you are. I will find you just wait, and then I shall paddle you down the river! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Hey, Pablo, threaten if you will. It really doesn't matter. Who knows what you paint anyway? You just make colors splatter. I didn't mean to spill the beans About how you got your name But what's the diff? Nobody cares You're third-rate, just the same. So bring it on. I wait with glee You washed-up romeo. I'd like to chat but I must help Old Vince make his van go. |
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Pablo Junior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 12 |
Hey! Balladeer! You listen up! Insult me. Go ahead! Haha, your words roll off my back! They make me laugh, instead. No, I'm not laughing at your wit, I'm laughing at your ass 'cause here comes big bad Nurse Cratchet, who tolerates no sass. She's wielding a big needle for your big bold blatant butt! She'll get you soon, my loco friend because you are a NUT! You are no king, you are no prince, no painter like the rest. In fact, dear sir, you soon will wince... and Cratchet's stab's the test. You see, she'll look for Balladeer in Michelangelo's van and when the jump start's getting near, She'll shout out, "There's my man!" She'll see you bend beneath the hood-- aim her needle toward your head, because your butt's been swapped for you, it's now your head, instead! You see, although you think I paint with splash of paint, by feel-- I really paint reality, yep, what I paint's soon real! So when I tell you that your crown has fallen off your head... Just look behind you, then look down, it's on your butt, instead! Haha, you thought your comments 'bout my last name were real cute! Haha, watch out, my witty friend, this is an ARTIST's 'stute. sincerely, Pablo P. Artiste Extraordinaire |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
You guys are keeping me in stitches. LOL |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
It wasn't hard to find you guys , though Jimi and Walt tried to spoof me . They sent me to Pluto by dragonfly , I took the bus to Goofy . And here we are a lovely bunch , bananas everywhere . I walked to school and brought my lunch ,so Hey!, don't touch me there ! Wow ! that Ratchet's hands are cold ,I like the color blue . All is going according to plan , there's so much here to do ! I can alphabetize and prioritize , to my hearts content . Which might be why I'm "tutionalized ', who signed that darn consent ? Hmmm...I find this by it's nature queer , though I've got rounds to do . Even the poems are schizoid here , I must try to think this through . Dr. Moose |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Dr. MOOSE!!!! I didn't recognize you! I thought you were that new dude cratchet hired.... damn! nope, it's YOU, alright! How you been, buddy? I haven't seen you since St. Elizabeth's! (Remember when you broke into the lab and got all that extra prozac? LOL... you were OUT there, buddy boy! You better watch out for that kinda thing over here. Crachet will eat you alive!) hehehe... but if you're looking for a "patient", try that dude, balladeer. He doesn't even know he's in the 'stute! He'll never be able to follow your "credentials"... hehehe... just tell him all the 'stutes you've been at and he'll bend over for a shot! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... thanks for the laugh, big moose. LOL hehehe -Justin T. |
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Justin Kace Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 82Oz |
I did not eat that Toe last night Nor chewed on VanGogh's ear Instead I called on Balladeer And told him of my plight I said this dinner's really bad I wouldn't eat it so - Tough Toenails Michelangelo You're really all quite mad... While Doctor Moose was doing rounds Deer got there Justin Thyme To save the day for Justin Kace As amputees abound... While in this 'stute don't ever nag - Just look at Pablo's butt This Toe will rot - For off it's cut Let's wrap it in a rag... We got the rag - the Toe inside So Vince would never know - But please don't fret - I know that Toe Rag's in formaldehyde.... |
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Pablo Junior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 12 |
I'm going to the garden to weave a little bit. You all are basket-KACES. I think you all are LIT. your friend, Pablo P. (hey, leonardo! i hear there's an "ool" at St. Sophia's.... no "p" in it... hehehe) |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
I really must confess , I'm not in on this with Ratchet . Just 'cause I do " knee jerk tests " , with my rubber hatchet . I only took this job here , at the Institute, to deal with some personal fears , that I have of " mixed fruit " ! Those and missing body parts , and paintings on the ceiling . As a student of the arts , I find these most revealing . Why... as I remarked to Dorothy , just the other day, We're not in Kansas anymore you see , ( which blew her right away ). Justin Kace you see me , while my rounds I make . Think it not conspiracy , with Ratchet that old fake . She'll be causing me no trouble , I know this for a fact . I can burst her little bubble , now I've wised- up to her act . I caught her in the west wing , popping pills like they were candy . Pablo painted everything , so I got proof ,which comes in handy . But keep this under your paper hat , about old Ratchet's thieving . We can't let her get wind of that , or the grounds I will be leaving ! |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
I seemed to have caught a breeze blowing in a mighty nasty sneeze why Dr. Moose is spreading germs amongst our famous wacky worms Nurse Crachet's here to protect my nieve worms from neglect I know my worms love me so and that is why I let them grow herbal plants on window sills to chase away their evil chills so Dr. Moose you best beware germs you spread may be rare but I have defenses at hand that make oreo cookies bland. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
You don't scare me Cratchet, I'm hip to your game , I broke out of this place , find me by my name ! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
UH-OH! There's a Moose on the loose!! ------------------ Denise |
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Justine Uff Junior Member
since 1999-10-17
Posts 27 |
There they all are - I've been looking Justin All The Wrong Places |
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Justin Thyme Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 216Oz |
Someone found this poem of mine. Looks like they found it Justin Thyme! In Number Two, it had got loose! This poem was running from the MOOSE! And Just when you had Justine Uff, somebody found this silly stuff! They moved it up to O-P-3, and then said OPEN SESAME! Stuck in the 'stute and off the street! We're locked up here, so things repeat! I wrote this poem a month ago! Hey, CRATCHET, NURSY, LET ME GO!!!! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Who brought this forth from O.P Two ? That was a silly thing to do . I liked it there , I made some friends Though some drooled a bit , and one wore depends ( Justin Continent ) That 'stute was good , except one part Which according to Cratchit , was state of the art They locked me up , a true recluse An agoraphobic schizoid moose They shut the hatch and threw the bolt , and gave me 15,000 volts They said it was for my own good , but they don't fool me , those peckerwoods No way , uh-uh , nope , not a chance I know it's 'cause I like to dance So now that we're here , what say that we do A sedated Funky - Chicken , or the twice baked Boog-a-loo ------------------ Sometimes nonsense isn't . |
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The Unknown Poet Junior Member
since 1999-09-25
Posts 34Somewhere West of No-Where |
Oh no, Oh no, say it ain't so. I thought that I was free. I carried on with the 'stute gone, But what's this I now see? I ran, I ran, I'm a free man! I know that this can't be... Must be a dream, it sure does seem - The 'stute's in Open3! ------------------ the unknown what you don't know can't hurt you, But more than likely can drive you mad. [This message has been edited by The Unknown Poet (edited 10-25-1999).] |
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Justin Credible Junior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 10 |
You're a trip, old Dr. Moose! You know my grandpa? Do you? He's Justin Continent, you know! I guess he couldn't fool you! When he was home, before the 'stute, my grandma, Justine Sidious... had tried her best to keep him dry, but said, "No-one should pity us!" She was the one that locked him up, she called the white coats in on him. And when they came to bring him here, she made some muffins (cinnamin). "I will not worry 'bout my man," she told her Uncle Leon. "As long as he's no longer here, I don't CARE what he'll pee on." And so it went, and so it goes, when standing near him, watch your toes! -------------------------- This is Justin Credible!!! Signing off! |
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Vincent VanGogh New Member
since 1999-10-05
Posts 9somewhere in France or Italy (me thinks) |
I'll kick that moose in the caboose For leading them to me. Was it not him, upon a whim That brought the 'stute to 3? Lawdy da da - blah blah blah blah, I will never be free! White coats are here, again I fear The 'stute's my destiny. ------------------ Vinny Only someone I held true and dear, Would I ever lend an ear. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Bring out the whole gang, and add a few more This place is much bigger , with a brand new dance floor Calling all Jusins , c'mon back One Flew Draw Vince a picture , he might not hear you C'mon down Michaelangelo, have you seen the new Matisse? It was painted by the artist "Toe" , with the help of certain geese We've got a brand new wax museum , thanks to Andrew Scott We keep it air conditioned , so he doesn't get too hot We've got Suthern hospitality , and artistes extraodinaire You can look anytime Watcher666 , just try not to stare You see now that's the thing , about coming to this place Though you've stopped just for a visit , they might keep you Justin Kace You might think I am kidding , that this could not be true That there is just no possible way , that they can get to you Well YOU'RE WRONG I'm here to tell ya , that I've seen it done Once you're written into the story line, you've got no place to run ! I tried to hide in O.P. Two , and you see where it got me They dragged me kicking and screaming , to Open Poetry Three ! ------------------ Sometimes nonsense isn't . |
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