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Open Poetry #3
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The Willow's Smile
| Open Poetry #3 |
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The Willow's Smile |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
As I sat beneath the willow tree Her branches swayed and danced for me Her leaves like little lady fingers, encased in green lace gloves Wrapped in bark, Seanna shade Carved out with a sculptors blade Her bark left marks upon my face As I wrapped my arms around her Her smell unique of earth and soil Her roots protruding, like massive coils So tall she stands beneath the sky She brushes clouds as they roll by As I sat beneath the willow tree Her movement serenaded me In a lovely sort of melody As her beauty made me smile. ©1999 tori --------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------- If with pen in hand I've made you think I've not wasted one drop of ink vlh. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Victoria Hosier/tori - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
This poem conjures up a very peacful image.  ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Serraley Junior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 11New Zealand |
Lovely - and I especially like the first verse. The glove line is great. [This message has been edited by Serraley (edited 10-21-1999).] |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Soft and Sweet........can alomost feel the breeze. ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Tori, this was well done, the imagery beautiful and the format you used with rhyming the first two lines and not the last two of each quatrain as well as making the meter in the last line of each quatrain just a hair different from the first brought new life to this piece as it emphasized the final line of each quatrain. Well done, makes for a nice read! |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Tori great imagery! Very picturesque. |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Thanks for reading everyone.. and for the kind words.... I'm glad you enjoyed it.. And by the way under the Willow is my place, of peace... I get some of my best ideas there.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Yes, you have painted a beautiful peaceful picture. |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
An excellent and enjoyable read, Tori. I agree that the first stanza is superb! I like this quite a lot!------------------ "Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very lovely, tori! Willows are my favorite tree! Your poem described them perfectly! ------------------ Denise |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Lovely poem. Really enjoyed the read. Great imagery. ------------------ Julie ------------------------- Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. >Stendhal |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Thanks to all of you for reading and for your kind words ! Mine too dsnyder, The lace leaf, is about the most beautiful of them all. :-) [This message has been edited by tori (edited 10-22-1999).] |
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