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The Brother I Never Knew
| Open Poetry #1 |
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The Brother I Never Knew |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
flesh of my flesh you are my brother still. You left me alone one cold June morning, leaving a hole that no one else can fill. For five months we grew under mother's heart, sharing as we do but a single soul. Losing you also tore mother apart, her body will never again be whole. Sixteen weeks more inside mother I grew, turning, dying and feeling out of place. Even then brother I was missing you, as I do when I look at my own face. By dry delivery mother was scarred, knowledge that drove mother and father wild. Their outlooks on the future were both marred, seems never again could they have a child. For weeks I lay in an incubator, a sickly child that was weak and frail. Every new breath I took would elate her, as mother had no doubt life would prevail. Through the trials of my life you were there, an unseen prescence that kept me from harm. You saw me through the worst of my despair, becoming the source of my present charm. Brother, I'm sorry you had no name, it tears at my heart if the truth be told. Here though my brother is my deepest shame, I knew you not til twenty-six years old. Mother said that you just never came up, undoubtedly that sentiment is true. Since that time bitter tears have filled my cup, cried for you,the brother I never knew. ©1999 DreamEvil ------------------ Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings? DreamEvil© [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 08-28-99).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like this very much except some minor phrase problems. [This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 08-28-99).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh god, This is beautiful, Dream. absolutley moving. I feel your pain . |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Quite stirring...very beautiful sentiments. ------------------ The only man worth your tears will never make you cry... |
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Gentle Soul Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273Vinton,Ohio USA |
Wow dream.. this is very moving! I love it big brother.. ------------------ Gënt£ë¤§°û£ |
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Cinderella Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152Arizona |
This was a tear-jerker Dream....But I loved it. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
And because she could have no retrieval She adopted the name of DreanEvil. Wonderful piece of work. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Glad to see you decided to do this! I have tears runnin buddy! I knew you could do it. This was beautiful. What a loving tribute! I'm proud of you!!!! |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
yuh whuts the deal why isnt this on the top huh pretty durn good it is lets do some kinda poem crowd surfin and keep it on top for evermore  |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Very moving tribute to the brother you never knew. I once knew a guy who also lost his twin. I don't think he'll ever feel whole without him. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, This one cuts preety deep, DreamEvil. I can almost feel the longing you have for him in your words. You've portrayed this one very well. Great work. Michael |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I have to agree with everyone, very well done DE. I could 'feel' this poem, and that is impressive. ------------------ "Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain* |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
So deeply painful, Dream...wonderful sentiments, though. I also truly felt this piece..exellent work. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* I see the world through the loving eyes of my heart, and suffer the pain of unfulfilled visions. -- Daniel L. Miller |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I agree with walt...Lets keep it up there. This should not be missed!!! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sending this back to the top [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 08-29-99).] |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Back to the TOP!!!! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Dream.....this is absolutely beautiful. You have portrayed both your and your mothers pain so vividly it hurts to read it. You are a master |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I could feel it, DE, so sorry for the loss of your brother.  ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Dream, I realize this poem may have been very hard for you to write. I cannot imagine how it must feel. However, I do know the feeling of living and feeling like a part of you is missing. I know what it's like to go through life trying to fill that void. I know what it's like when you can't find anything that fills it. To write about it shows your strength in facing something that hurts terribly. I hope that you hold on to this one, Dream... This poem is a very important part of YOU. ------------------ ~onevoice~ "She looked at her life like lines, never-ending, constantly forming, reforming and bending." |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
sending this back up |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
back to the top |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
This was enchanting in its entirety, but I must say the thing that captivated me most was the mention of a shared soul. You delved deep for this. Exquisite. --Kess You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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