Open Poetry #1 |
The Last Song of Orpheus |
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Who was this man called Orpheus? What was his power, what meant his name? What was his Glory? What was his fame? He made his fortune by playing the lyre, such was his skill that his playing alone could inspire ire or quell a man's fear. The beautiful Eurydice was his lovely young bride, the source of his inspiration and constant pride. One day, as Orpheus was away and Eurydice began to bathe, she was spied upon by a fighter, not a page, nor sultry knave. Seeing his face she turns to run, fast to escape his grasp. Stumbling, she falls into a pit and is bitten by an asp. Homeward Orpheus made his way, playing a gentle tune designed to make the fair Eurydice, his beloved, swoon. Heading to the stream to wash the road from his dusty flesh, he spies a flash of color. He holds Eurydice's dress. Looking around, he sees she's not there, searching, he comes upon the pit. A trembling fear grips his suddenly hammering heart as he looks into it. He sees her torn and broken body, twisted and snakebit, strewn across the bottom of the bloody, cursed pit. A low pitched moan erupted from him, he lifted his lyre and began a dirge, A lament so powerful and strong, it held the forest in thrall as the notes began to merge. Halting his song, Orpheus gathered his love with such resolve, he cowed even the Asp. Holding her close, tears pouring from his eyes, a plan his fevered mind did grasp. Dawn found Orpheus with his eyes dry as his heart's blood was bled. Marshalling his courage and steeling his resolve, he started his journey, to the land of the dead. Approaching the Styx he searched out the great horn to call out the ferry. Booming out it's lonesome moan, the horn fit the mood of that place, austere, scary. Out of the mist comes Charon, the ferryman, his voice a grinding rasp. "The living have no business here, only the dead may pass!" In answer to Charon's challenge, Orpheus did play a song so poignant, so clear. Charon bowed his head long and thought of his own loss as he shed a crystal tear. At last, Charon let him pass, and begin the journey he was coming to dread. He stepped off the ferry and into the tunnel leading into Hades' land of the dead. He came upon Cerebrus, three-headed guardian of the gates of Hell. Snarling, he came to his feet. "Only the dead may pass, you know that as well!" Orpheus' lyre spilled out a happy, joyful, playful song, Cerebrus did not retreat. Smiling at the memory of times past, knowing his defeat, Cerebrus lay his heads at Orpheus' feet. Passing the gates, stumbling along in the murky gray, the dimly lit path, the only saving grace. The wailing of the tormented souls the only music allowed in this dreary, sad place. Coming upon great Hades' throne room, Orpheus stopped to steel his resolve. Remembering Eurydice, his reason for being, caused the trepidation to dissolve. As he approached, Hades said, "This is no place for the living, only the dead. Not even for a mortal such as you, Orpheus, who's heart's blood is bled. Why have you come to the land of the dead?", dread Hades demanded. "If it is for your lover, Eurydice, then you leave less than empty-handed." His power and purpose, confident and sure, Orpheus began a song brightly lit and gay, So powerful it lifted the agony of the dead, lighting a place that has never known the light of day. In answering peal the dead joined his song, as did Cerebrus and Charon too. Stony Hades, shed nary a tear, until his lady Persephone beckoned him near. "Give him back his love, I beseech you, Hades, my husband, lover and Lord. His courage and love, overcoming great Cerebrus, surely deserve some reward." Then a single, black tear rolled down Hades cheek. "Know I do this, not for thee. Only and solely for the brightness within my dark heart, dearest Persephone." "Return whence you came, leave my great hall, to the realm of the living she will follow, look not behind you or you will lose her to your own misgiving." Turning to go, Orpheus thanked Persephone and Cerebrus for their faith. Charon himself assured him that behind him was Eurydice's wraith. All the trip back to the light, Orpheus found the need for strength to fight the urge to turn and see her. Even knowing that doing so would be tantamount to staging her murder. At last, Orpheus broke out of the darkening dim and into brightly lit day. Spinning on his heels, she's only half out of the hole, he cries as she fades away. Screaming aloud an impotent cry of pain and rage, he began to play a song, So mighty and powerful, the Earth heard it's call, all the way to Hades dark throng. The Kraken awoke, hearing it's call, lashing his tail, waves began crashing against the sand. Mountains rose at his command and against their nature, began gnashing at the land. The skies darkened with an approaching apocalypse of ravening wind. So great was his song, the Gods huddled in fear, sensing their terrible end. Seeing what his grief had wrought, Orpheus stopped at the last note. Even engulfed in grief and rage, he could not destroy and rail against hope. Casting himself and his lyre into the sea, some say the lyre waits for one such as us. One with talent and rage, to pick up the lyre and play the last note of the Last Song of Orpheus. ©1999 DreamEvil ------------------ I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say. DreamEvil© [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 07-12-99).] [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 08-04-99).] [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 10-16-1999).] |
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© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved | |||
~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Oh, I am left breathless... This is the reason poetry was created. You are definitely a natural. God blessed you with this talent, and you use it so very well. DreamEvil, don't you EVER believe differently. ------------------ ~one voice~ For Myself, I live, Live intensely and am fed by life, and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression of that. *Henry James |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Thank you, my dear, thank you very much. My masterpiece I think, so far. The first draft was lost to time. I rewrote it, as at last, I regained my rhyme. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
woah buddy this is really good you are so knowledgable haven't heard this tale spun so well in a long time...walt |
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Moonlight Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 105Auburn, Alabama USA |
You've done it again! This was really great. Great story telling and rhyme. I never knew this story before the poem Never apologize for length when its good! ~m~ |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
Bravo! |
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leelew Member
since 1999-07-10
Posts 89highmount,ny,usa |
Perfect! |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
My masterpiece (so far) and my gift to the forum. Thank you, everyone. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No adjective that I can think of would be worthy of this poem. As large as the vocabulary is, there are still things, or feelings that words have not yet been created to describe. That is how I feel about this poem. Aside from the fact that I am a student of mythology, you have captured the complete essense of this story in perfect detail and in a wonderful poetic display. I do not expect to see a better poem on this website, mine included. I applaud the hard work and effort that went into its creation and want you to know it was definitely worthwhile. You have represented yourself well. Thank you so much. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
You have my deepest respect for the wonder you have laid before us. I knew of Orpheus and his ill fated journey prior to my reading, but never have I had it portraid is such vivid detail. By far one of the best offerings to be found here. Well deserving of the title "Masterpiece." |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I hung on every word...forgetting at one point that I was reading poetry, so involved was I in the story. And isn't that what great storytelling is all about? To see beyond the form - poetry or prose - is a compliment to the author! You have given us a magnificent work of art here. Thank you! |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Balladeer, you blew my mind, words of praise like yours are very hard ro find. Mr.Scott, thank you much for your clear opinion, it will influence each further, poetic decision. Lady deVine, you know I pass the time, pining with desire for your romantic fire. Truly this praise is my masterpiece, not the work that inspired it. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Well, DreamEvil, what can I say that hasn't already been so perfectly said??? This poem is phenomenal, and it truly does deserve the title of masterpiece....what a gift you possess. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* |
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Gentle Soul Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273Vinton,Ohio USA |
What can I say Dreamevil? You are the best all around.. a sweet guy, with a golden heart, an awesome thinker.. and great support. ------------------ Gënt£ë¤§°û£ |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Thank you dear. Who would think that one day the Dark would counsel the Light on purity? |
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IsabelleSkye Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253 |
This is so beautiful, I was at once, amazed and awed by your talent. What a great story to weave in such a poetic way. My hat is off to you my Gallant Knight. Izzy ------------------ Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.....Henry David Thoreau |
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orpheus Junior Member
since 1999-07-10
Posts 30Portugal |
Orpheus and Eurydice. An incredible love. And you and your incredible poem. What more can I say? |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Thank you dear Izzy, your praise makes me giddy with the thought of what have happened tonight. Orpheus, I'm glad you enjoy this tale of your namesake. |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Absolutely Brilliant, It took me to a place so real I felt the bit, the loss and the rage, yet with tender love Truly a Master Piece "I'm thinking" Applause, Applause, Applause!! Only suggestion : Remove the apology for the length of this is... Not one word too many, not one word short ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If with pen in hand my words make you think Then I've not wasted one drop of ink. |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
My Dearest Dream...I am breathless still. I must agree with one voice...never ever doubt your ability. You have shown what talent is, you make me feel like a child standing next to someone who has perfected the craft here today. I bow in awe to you, my eyes filled still with tears, my breathing shallow, for I have read a piece done by one of the greats. Bravo, my friend, Bravo. ------------------ For sometimes when the Darkness falls, we must surrender, take what is ours, and give what we can, and always remember love is somewhere waiting... |
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Gentle Soul Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273Vinton,Ohio USA |
Yes.. who knew? but thank you for the couseling! ------------------ Gënt£ë¤§°û£ |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Tori, your opinion means deal, solely for who suggested it,azblond, where have you been, my inconstant friend? Gentle Soul, read "The Bridge", iy is for you. |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
This Must Not Be Buried...Dream...I love this so much, I cannot get it out of my mind. Once again let me say, What a beautiful way to tell a trajic story! ------------------ For sometimes when the Darkness falls, we must surrender, take what is ours, and give what we can, and always remember love is somewhere waiting... |
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Cinderella Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152Arizona |
No apologies necessary for the length of this marvelous poem, truly a piece of work! |
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Kelly Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 145 |
Superior, excellent, perfect etc. etc. It was always obvious that you are a great writer but this surpasses everything else. You have really outdone yourself. I think it's too short and you should take Tori's advise and dump the apology. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
I've been high on life since the first reply. Thank you all. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Stupendous!! Ebullient!! - there are a couple of good adjectives... You're a welcome asset to this forum, DreamEvil... |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Thank you again, Nan. It DOES mean alot coming from the seasoned veterans of the poetic struggle. |
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Ominous Member
since 1999-07-04
Posts 68Canada |
Amazingly breathtaking. I am a fan of mythology and of music and this masterpiece really touched not only my heart but the depths of my soul. You inspire me Dream, you the master, and I the pupil. Congrats. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
The response has been mindblowing. Thank you, Ominous. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I am speechless, and breathless, with tears standing in my eyes. |
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Rita Member
since 1999-07-19
Posts 55Danville Va. 24540 |
This is my favorite. I am amazed how you write with such beauty. I raced to hear the end, while in awe in every verse.....wonderful... ------------------ "And the day came, where the risk to remain tight in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Absolutely superb! ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Ladycat
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782At the edge and a doorway,TX |
Once again, a wonderful piece that has sweep me off my feet.. You definately have a masterpiece there... Love, Lady ------------------ Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured. |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
I've now decided that I should pay attention to what is being posted. I almost missed something great here. I've got a whole list of adjectives that I save for occasions like these. Let's see...sublime, splendiferous, splendorous, opulent, slambang!!!!!! ------------------ Even with a lot of imagination, does it make the story less true? |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Thank you,again. |
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Gentle Soul Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273Vinton,Ohio USA |
wow Dream.. 35 replies!! hehe.. well.. 36 now.. obvious an AWESOME piece of art brother hehe ------------------ Gënt£ë¤§°û£ |
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Phantom Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 18 |
Absolutely Beautifully! ------------------ Open your heart to the Darkness,set your soul free. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Wonderfully graceful. Thank you. ------------------ © KRJ 22 Jul 99 Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
What can I say that hasn't been said.. I like it a lot. Back to the top. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'm at a loss for words... awesome!!! But I must agree with those who say the apology at the beginning for the length should be removed. When the read is this good, when the words are used so well, who's counting? *G* |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Masterpiece may be an understatement, DreamEvil. This is a true Epic. Michael |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
'Tis the oldest of my lengthy works, but work well it does. ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
This piece proves you deserving of the title of Wordsmith, my dear. It is magnificent. ------------------ "Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Brother, sad I am that I had previously missed this! But heartened that I stumbled upon it! The magnificence of this by far outreaches any of your other works, and that is saying galaxies! |
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thursdayschild Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 169Houston, Tx. |
WOW! |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
This was better than any mythology book I have ever read, and believe me, I have read more than a few. Your talent is astounding! As far as the length is concerned, more is better, so long as the verse is good! I was swept through this like wildfire, and found myself disappointed when it ended so soon! --Kess You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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