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Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

0 posted 1999-08-27 12:45 PM

Tonight silence

(and a butterfly...

is my companion
my suicide watch

(dancing...)

for any noise

(whispers...)

kills my sanity
steals my thinking

(of freedom...)

those still places

of wings and wind)

have such quietness
and I'm

(so briefly whispering)

moonmoon
Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 277
TX , USA

1 posted 1999-08-27 01:09 AM

Weee..Real different Severn.!! I liked it..

------------------
"No one was ever ruined from without;
The final ruin comes from within.".....Amelia E. Barr

Seaangel
Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 167
Auckland, New Zealand

2 posted 1999-08-27 03:40 AM

I love this so much I have to post it back to the top of the pile! You showed me this before and I didn't say much; well I'm pressured for time now too but how full of feeling and a subject completely suited to the form of poetry. Interlacing the two ideas is a very interesting structure!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 1999-08-27 01:37 PM

Very interesting reading, to be told in three ways.

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

4 posted 1999-08-30 11:50 PM

Thanks everyone! It is a little different, wasn't sure how it would be received.

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

5 posted 1999-08-30 11:56 PM

Interesting...hmmm, I'm thinking...no, probably not... Sweet(or sour) and to the point Severn. I'm still not sure what to make of it though...

------------------
I believe in the sand beneath my toes.
The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling.
I believe in the faith that grows.
-Stephan Jenkins-

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

6 posted 1999-08-31 12:04 PM

This has the flavor of an hallucination ... disconnected thoughts, meandering aimlessly ... well captured. Another free verse master. I am simply green!

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

7 posted 1999-08-31 12:10 PM

I think unique! Different! But I liked it!

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

8 posted 1999-08-31 11:47 PM

Chris - whadya mean!?

Nocht - don't be green! Your poetry's awesome! (Hardly a master...)

WhiteDove - thanks!

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

9 posted 1999-10-20 02:32 AM

I mean I'm the only one allowed to have multiple personalities!!!

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

10 posted 1999-10-21 02:04 AM

Hey you - you're the other half of me - so I must have some myself.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

11 posted 2004-04-17 01:40 PM

.....in awe

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