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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 1999-08-21 03:51 PM




Arguments and harsh words
divided our house and bed.
now, barely listening
nor hearing what the other said

Surrendering was foreign to me
My heart ached that this was so
I neither wanted you to stay
nor did I want you to go

You walked around the room
in silently angry frustration
I wanted to heal our hearts
but met with consternation

That night I lay in my bath
water a soothing panacea
and from this tub of mine
I got a sudden idea.

You walked into the bathroom
to brush your teeth before bed
you didn’t note me lying there
never even turned your head

So I rose from the tub quickly
wearing nothing but water and soap
running my hands over my curves
smiling with love and hope

You watched me as I offered
a prayer for the end of the war
your eyes darkened in just that way
before you turned and walked out the door.

Shattered I stood, now cold
in the tub of my despair
I offered you a truce and
you didn’t even care.

© Copyright 1999 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Emmy
Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 194
KY
1 posted 1999-08-21 04:16 PM


And oh how it hurts when those of us who are never the first one's to back down finally do... and no one even bats an eye. Nice one, deVine. My heart broke at the end, 'cause this one reminded me of the separation of my own parents. I was kinda hoping for a happy ending there...
~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
2 posted 1999-08-21 06:42 PM


Rejection... is there a worse feeling? I feel this poem all to well...

------------------
~onevoice~

"She looked at her life
like lines, never-ending,
constantly forming,
reforming and bending."



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 1999-08-21 07:13 PM


WOW Poet....that piece has some very strong and deep meanings to it. Rejection is a hard thing to accept sometimes.
IsabelleSkye
Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253

4 posted 1999-08-21 07:56 PM


HMMPPH! The big dumb jerk.

Great Poem
sorry you felt that way if this was written from experience
I.Skye

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
5 posted 1999-08-21 08:01 PM


PDV

Go find yourself a bucket
and fill it to the brim
making sure it's freezing cold
then chuck it over him!

He needs a shock and that should do the trick!

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.



Craig
Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444

6 posted 1999-08-21 10:21 PM


I've been through this so many times and know exactly what your saying

Another good one PDV

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 1999-08-21 10:31 PM


I must stand to this man's defense
It's possible that maybe
Since you still had soap around your lips
He thought you had the rabies!

pen of passion
Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234

8 posted 1999-08-22 10:33 PM


See how good you are, you ensnare, they forget and then believe. Do you need a towel?
jfreak
Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306
Yuma, AZ, USA
9 posted 1999-08-23 12:15 PM


Great poem Devine,

and How devine you are. The only thing I can say is that rejection is a pitiful and discouraging thing. But, if it would have been me I think I might have done the same thing. Listen for just a sec though. I would have seen it, especially if I were angry at you still, as you trying to hold something over my head. Trying to minipulize me. I know that wasn't the case. I am just trying to shed some light on what might go through a guy's head at a time like that. You are a blessing Devine. Keep up the great work. thank you.

Jfreak

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
10 posted 1999-08-23 12:43 PM


rejection in any way, shape or form is one of the worst feelings..you made the feeling painfully vivid. Exellent work.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

I see the world through the loving eyes of my heart, and suffer the pain of unfulfilled visions. -- Daniel L. Miller



Kyle_R
Junior Member
since 1999-08-23
Posts 12
Honolulu, HI, USA
11 posted 1999-08-23 12:45 PM


ow. such rejecetion reigns a chord stricken too close to home...
DARILYN SUE
Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 22
HOUSTON, TX
12 posted 1999-08-23 08:24 PM


What a very sad yet beautiful poem. Well done.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
13 posted 1999-08-23 09:57 PM


Great work deVine! I think too many of us have felt that kind of rejection! I know I have, and man is it degrading. I like what Rainbow girl had to say about it!
traveler
Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119

14 posted 1999-08-24 10:58 AM


A beautiful work, so well written, my marrow is pained ... rejection, such a powerful emotion ...conveyed so clearly ... wonderful imagery ...the second stanza, how much you convey, with such economy of words ... thank you
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 1999-08-24 11:06 AM


Well written, deVine one... Whether we're offering our selves or our apologies or simply a truce... rejection hurts.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 1999-08-24 11:29 AM


Any why is it, I wonder aloud
that you are not haughty, but proud?
And I'll bet, all the way to the bank
you'll be up top; he'll be in the tank!

Very, very good. Surprise ending, but with you, I must remember, there should be no surprises, just simple amazement!

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
17 posted 1999-08-25 08:44 PM


I was going to make a flippant reply to this, but decided not to because I'm too depressed. I expected a happy ending to this also, but I guess there is none. *sniff*


------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
18 posted 2004-04-17 02:33 PM


ouch
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
19 posted 2005-01-23 08:53 PM


Oh boy the ending was not expected!  I thought we had a "valentine moment" there but instead it was a cold slap of reality.  Nicely done Sharon.

Carpe' Diem

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