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The Argument
| Open Poetry #1 |
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The Argument |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Arguments and harsh words divided our house and bed. now, barely listening nor hearing what the other said Surrendering was foreign to me My heart ached that this was so I neither wanted you to stay nor did I want you to go You walked around the room in silently angry frustration I wanted to heal our hearts but met with consternation That night I lay in my bath water a soothing panacea and from this tub of mine I got a sudden idea. You walked into the bathroom to brush your teeth before bed you didn’t note me lying there never even turned your head So I rose from the tub quickly wearing nothing but water and soap running my hands over my curves smiling with love and hope You watched me as I offered a prayer for the end of the war your eyes darkened in just that way before you turned and walked out the door. Shattered I stood, now cold in the tub of my despair I offered you a truce and you didn’t even care. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Emmy Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 194KY |
And oh how it hurts when those of us who are never the first one's to back down finally do... and no one even bats an eye. Nice one, deVine. My heart broke at the end, 'cause this one reminded me of the separation of my own parents. I was kinda hoping for a happy ending there... |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Rejection... is there a worse feeling? I feel this poem all to well... ------------------ ~onevoice~ "She looked at her life like lines, never-ending, constantly forming, reforming and bending." |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOW Poet....that piece has some very strong and deep meanings to it. Rejection is a hard thing to accept sometimes. |
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IsabelleSkye Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253 |
HMMPPH! The big dumb jerk.  Great Poem sorry you felt that way if this was written from experience I.Skye |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
PDV Go find yourself a bucket and fill it to the brim making sure it's freezing cold then chuck it over him! He needs a shock and that should do the trick! HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Craig Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444 |
I've been through this so many times and know exactly what your saying Another good one PDV |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I must stand to this man's defense It's possible that maybe Since you still had soap around your lips He thought you had the rabies! |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
See how good you are, you ensnare, they forget and then believe. Do you need a towel? |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Great poem Devine, and How devine you are. The only thing I can say is that rejection is a pitiful and discouraging thing. But, if it would have been me I think I might have done the same thing. Listen for just a sec though. I would have seen it, especially if I were angry at you still, as you trying to hold something over my head. Trying to minipulize me. I know that wasn't the case. I am just trying to shed some light on what might go through a guy's head at a time like that. You are a blessing Devine. Keep up the great work. thank you. Jfreak |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
rejection in any way, shape or form is one of the worst feelings..you made the feeling painfully vivid. Exellent work. ------------------ *Krista Knutson* I see the world through the loving eyes of my heart, and suffer the pain of unfulfilled visions. -- Daniel L. Miller |
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Kyle_R Junior Member
since 1999-08-23
Posts 12Honolulu, HI, USA |
ow. such rejecetion reigns a chord stricken too close to home...  |
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DARILYN SUE Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 22HOUSTON, TX |
What a very sad yet beautiful poem. Well done. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Great work deVine! I think too many of us have felt that kind of rejection! I know I have, and man is it degrading. I like what Rainbow girl had to say about it! |
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traveler Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119 |
A beautiful work, so well written, my marrow is pained ... rejection, such a powerful emotion ...conveyed so clearly ... wonderful imagery ...the second stanza, how much you convey, with such economy of words ... thank you |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Well written, deVine one... Whether we're offering our selves or our apologies or simply a truce... rejection hurts. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Any why is it, I wonder aloud that you are not haughty, but proud? And I'll bet, all the way to the bank you'll be up top; he'll be in the tank! Very, very good. Surprise ending, but with you, I must remember, there should be no surprises, just simple amazement! ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I was going to make a flippant reply to this, but decided not to because I'm too depressed. I expected a happy ending to this also, but I guess there is none. *sniff* ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
ouch |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh boy the ending was not expected! I thought we had a "valentine moment" there but instead it was a cold slap of reality. Nicely done Sharon. Carpe' Diem |
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