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The Letter I Died For
| Open Poetry #1 |
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The Letter I Died For |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
(Upon suggestion, I have edited this poem. Please tell me what you think of this new version.) I am feeling quite suspicious, so I keep a watchful eye. When at last I find him sleeping, then I take the time to pry. I search closets, I search pockets, and his dresser drawers as well. But I find nothing in our home that's a secret left to tell. It's then I take the car-keys and I sneak out through the door. Then, I search the glove compartment, under the seats, along the floor... And still I have no evidence that will tell me I am right. Should I really doubt my husband? or should I ignore this fright? Another place for me to search makes it's way into my mind. Should I search inside the hatch-back? I wonder what it is I'll find... The key opens up the hatch-back, I've a flashlight for the hunt... I think my man is doing drugs- I am looking for the blunt. And away back in the corner, in a hidden, cozy spot, I find what I am looking for- it's the moment he is caught. But much to surprise I find it is nothing like a sack. I can't believe what I have found- I am taken quite aback. The evidence is in my hand. I do hold the proof right here. In one second, my life changes, but where will I go from here? I have found a loving letter from my very best of friends professing her undying love for no one else beside him! My heart is racing so quickly. My body is shaking too. I can hardly read this letter though it's something I must do. Oh my, have I been thrown a loop... I thought he was in to weed... How wrong I was, how sickening- He has been between her knees. Now, I feel like I am dying. I'm so angry, so despaired... The two that meant the most to me I now know have never cared. What do I do? What do I say? I am losing sanity. My best friend was with my husband... How could they do this to me? I slowly make my way inside though my movements don't seem real. I have lost my mind completely and I don't know how to feel. Now, I turn the kitchen light on- there before me lies a knife... I reach out for it, knowing that tonight it will take a life. Slowly heading toward our bedroom, as my tears begin to fall, I will hurt him like he's hurt me- as though I'm nothing at all. Closer to the bed I'm creeping... the knife glimmers in the night... I raise it higher and higher... with my shadow in moonlight. I ponder at the strength I have to bring the knife to his chest. I marvel at the power to bring his life to sudden death. And as he lay there fast asleep, one emotion comes to me... No matter what it is he's done, I love him,so completely. I lower the knife and I cry, "God, tell me what should I do?" But my love does not awaken- I've been taken for a fool. I realize now that there's nothing that will take away my pain. I slash the knife across my wrists, over and over, and again... And as I lay upon the floor, the love-letter on my chest, he has no idea that I am dying while he rests. I feel my blood drain out of me and no tear falls from my eye. See, I know that in love with him is the way I want to die. In the morning, he'll awaken to my body and this knife. He will know that his adultery cost him his loving, faithful wife. ------------------ ~one voice~ For Myself, I live, Live intensely and am fed by life, and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression of that. *Henry James ©~onevoice~ [This message has been edited by ~one voice~ (edited 07-12-99).] [This message has been edited by ~one voice~ (edited 07-12-99).] [This message has been edited by ~one voice~ (edited 07-12-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 ~one voice~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Delilah Junior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 36The Wonderful America |
WOW!!!! Your amazing, powerful, mindtwisting poem left me absolutely breathless! It gave me chills - I actually cried! I don't know what else to say. Miraculous. ------------------ Delilah :) ********* "I think, therefore I am." -Rene Descartes |
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Emmy Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 194KY |
I agree with Delilah... heart-wrenching!!! The pain of this wife was almost tangible; you wove your words together so well... I know this poem will be in the back of my mind all day... |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
I'm still in tears, and shock, and my heart is racing a mile a minute. I was with you through ever step in this poem...the pain felt as though it was my own. One voice...this is by far one of the best pieces you have done (in my humble opinion)...it left me breathless. ------------------ Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
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ac Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 129Cayey, PR - USA |
I'm still mumbling my God over and over again... i could almost feel the desperation.. the heart racing and the utter anguish... |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Wow! Thank you all SO much! I didn't think I would get this much feedback for this one! Thank you, thank you, thank you!  ------------------ ~one voice~ For Myself, I live, Live intensely and am fed by life, and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression of that. *Henry James |
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Kelly Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 145 |
I loved your poem. Incredible story and yet I've seen it played out more than once destroying many lives and many families. I felt this one very deeply. You should be proud. |
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
Great piece of work! Very emotional. Keep it up! PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow http://sites.netscape.net/poetwheel |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Incredible piece of work..extremely intense and so sad..amazing job, one voice! ------------------ *Krista Knutson* |
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
so captivating and tragic...it gave me goosebumps...without a doubt though, he was the one deserving of the knife...i often don't make it to the end of long poems...this one was different...brava! ------------------ i never call a poem "nice" or such, for that would not be saying much [This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-10-99).] |
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Aly Junior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 35 |
Very nice! I like the last part, It was soooooooo sad!  Well, hope to read more! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
If anyone ever thought poetry is a dying art, they should read this. It's timely, tragic and terrific! Well done! |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Brilliant Work... Check your email.. --------------------------------------------- If with pen in hand I have made you think Than I have not wasted ink! Tori |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Bravo, one voice! |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Powerful and captivating, it drove me to my knees, crushed my heart, ignoring my pleas. Profoundly touching and wrenching. I, for one, am sorry you feel such despair. ------------------ I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say. DreamEvil© |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Oh, this is an exquisite piece of work! I love it! It very nearly brought me to tears, excellent, moving work. ------------------ Dusk Treader - *Abrahm* pacing the path between dark and light. |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Once again, my friends... I amazed at the response to this poem. Thank you so very much!!! ------------------ ~one voice~ For Myself, I live, Live intensely and am fed by life, and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression of that. *Henry James |
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orpheus Junior Member
since 1999-07-10
Posts 30Portugal |
Breath taking...Passionate... To ~one voice~ I say one word: surrendered |
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Moonlight Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 105Auburn, Alabama USA |
This is an amazing poem, it painted a picture while it told a story. Very vivid, very sad. But a great job! ~m~ |
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eurydice New Member
since 1999-07-11
Posts 2Ireland |
It was incredible the way you captured my eyes and my soul while I was reading your poem |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Goodness this is a great work! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
The scum! What a shame! To throw away a life over such... such.... selfish & arrogant behavior. You sure did a good job relaying the emotions associated with such a discovery. I hope, if this is based on something real in your life, it wouldn't end this way. A better ending for real life would be to just walk out the door to a new life leaving them to wallow in guilt. Makes you sorta understand crimes of passion, though, huh? Good job. dp |
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Ladycat 
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782At the edge and a doorway,TX |
Now that was deep.. In the beginning I thought about Jerry Springer and the weird topics that he has, but I loved the piece.. I can honestly say that it moved me and I showed it to my husband, Darquewing, and he loved it too.. Thank you for such a wonderful piece.. Keep on writing.. Love, Lady ------------------ Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured. |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
You all don't know how lucky I think I am te receive such wonderful support! I never thought there would be this many replies! I'm speechless! ------------------ ~one voice~ For Myself, I live, Live intensely and am fed by life, and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression of that. *Henry James |
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sheba57 Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 64vincennes, in usa |
beautifully told story! i felt every bit of what she was going through. would like to see more! |
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~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
I have edited this poem upon suggestion today (7/12). Please let me know what you think. ------------------ ~one voice~ For Myself, I live, Live intensely and am fed by life, and my value, whatever it be, is in my own kind of expression of that. *Henry James |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
As I have not read the former version I can only say that its current incarnation is some of the most powerful work I have encounterd. I pray never to have the experience of writing such material myself. The way it unfolded was very well done! |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Well, I have to say..that I stopped myself from responding a few too many times....now, I'm not. It's a truly wonderful piece. I know from all the response you've recieved that you must realize that. I do however, have to say that NO MAN is worth dying for. (and vice-versa) The ending is terribly sad and, unfortunately, all too true in life. It's a very moving poem that leaves you in a very emotional state. Yes, I'd say that's power. Great job! |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
You've done very well, my dear. I applaud it. ------------------ I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say. DreamEvil© |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
~One~ The Changes are great.. good job !! Should be up and running today !! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Very nice, one voice. The changes made a world of difference. You're a natural! |
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mia Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 118 |
I should'nt be crying like this but that was amazing. there is no comment worthy of this piece. Has this been published??? Wow! |
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r. baker33 Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 55glen easton wv |
only one phrase can describe this poem it is the GREATEST ONE!!I've ever read. it kept me on the edge at all times,and while bringing tears to my eyes at the same time. personal hurt is terrible, but it can be a powerful tool,and when it is used correctly can lead one to create beautiful works such as this!!! |
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r. baker33 Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 55glen easton wv |
only one phrase can describe this poem it is the GREATEST ONE!!I've ever read. it kept me on the edge at all times,and while bringing tears to my eyes at the same time. personal hurt is terrible, but it can be a powerful tool,and when it is used correctly can lead one to create beautiful works such as this!!! |
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Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
One Voice, I have honestly been in this position only not with a husband.I went with a guy for 3 1/2 years.I knew that I loved him and that he "loved" me supposedly, but then i found the letters,heard the stories, and decided to ask him myself.She was my best friend-i asked her first-answer-no.His answer-no. did i believe this-NO.but still being that they both said no the two people i trusted the most i left it at that we broke up-i don't really know why.Then I heard her telling some1 it was true.i punched her and left.went to him asked y slapped him and left went home took many many many pills-in conclusion i am much much better now---------anyway great poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories stay alive* |
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Crystal Member
since 1999-07-24
Posts 62Hazel Park Mi U.S.A. |
Wow what a great poem. I can't even put into words what i feel right now. So powerful sad poem but great job |
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Kiya Junior Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 31Kingston Springs,Tn.,U.S. |
wow is all i can say. I am speechless. ------------------ Kiya Nicole |
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Augchic711 Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 80O'Fallon, IL, USA |
One Voice~ I don't what I can say that everyone else hasn't covered. I think that you are a wonderful writer and I thank you for writing this and sharing it with me!!!!! GEEZ I ENVY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are so talented. *******Augchic711******* |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
You have done a great job! I think the "new and improved" version is really good. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Pixie as promised I am bringing this one forward. 'Tis your very best I think, though the verse you write for me is better in my eyes and heart.  ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
WOW ! Am I glad I read this one ! |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Thank you Scott for putting this back up to the top. One Voice, it is a very moving piece. Poems don't often evoke strong emotion in me, but this one has me speechless. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Exceptional writing One Voice! A poem that will linger in my mind for a long time! So powerful in its emotions! WOW!! ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
wow, is right, this is incredible, I have lived it with you, but could not have written it so beautifully.....sigh..... |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I know I've read this, but I can't believe I never replied to it. This is heart-wrenching! You told an excellent story here, you wrote it fantastically. I honestly can't remember why I never replied to this, unless it brought back feelings the last time, and I just didn't write anything. I have been in that situation with a letter I found in the mail years ago. |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
WOW! I loved it! I hope to see more of your poems! And i bet they'll be just as great! "Superiority to fate is difficult to learn. 'Tis not conferred by any, but possible to earn"--Emily Dickinson-"Superiority of Fate" |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
gawd! this is tragic! so tragic! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
What a fantasically written story - one I am afraid too many could tell. All lost in this story, for there is never a winner in situations such as this. Well done! Carpe' Diem |
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