Open Poetry #1 |
Making Love to You |
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I enjoyed making love to you last night. I enjoyed holding you close to me and feeling The softness of your skin blend with mine As it had so many times before. Your hair was different than I recall - A bit blonder, perhaps And a contented lifestyle may have added A pound or two Here and there I don't care. Surely you could sense how I'd missed you By how I kissed you And touched you And clung to you. I knew it was you Even though you looked at me strangely As I whispered your name I wasn't fooled. I knew it was you because It was your name on my lips And your voice in my ear And your thoughts in my heart. I don't know why you looked at me so strangely In the early morning light Or why you left so quickly Without turning without speaking But I know you'll come back. You always do. Your hair may be a different color Perhaps you'll change perfume. Perhaps I may not notice As you walk into the room. But as I lay beside you, One fact will still hold true That, every time that I make love, I'll be making love to you. |
||
© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
() () () Those are teardrops on my cheek! This was so sad! |
||
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Now Ron |
||
Red Letter Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 85Allentown, PA |
this has a very romantic message but I am curious as to whether it was meant to be freeverse or rhyme? I found the switching back and forth a bit distracting... Just a thought, Red |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Good question, Red. Actually, there is no switching back and forth. The first part, dealing with the past is basically free verse and the last part, dealing with the future, is in rhyme. I did this intentionally. If I did a good job, the reader would be able to make the transition smoothly, almost unnoticeably. If I didn't, it would be distracting. Oh, well, ya can't win 'em all. |
||
ashlerr Junior Member
since 1999-06-11
Posts 23chino hills, ca usa |
maybe not them all but in this one with me you have. i have not much else to say but...great. |
||
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Balladeer, this truly is excellent - I have to agree with the consensus here.... I bet this one is really exceptional when it's recited........ |
||
Red Letter Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 85Allentown, PA |
"Here and there/I don't care"? Doesn't that rhyme? ok, ok, so I'm being a pain in the ass... just trying to make a point hehehe you know I still luv ya, Sweet!!! |
||
Raven Member
since 1999-06-14
Posts 67Hopewell Jct, New York, USA |
That poem was so beautiful, I loved it! ------------------ "They sing the stories of the present, of people trapped in a shadow world" ~Charlotte Seley~ |
||
Krystal Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140Shelton,WA USA |
Beautiful.... ------------------ Shannon D. Montgomery ("Krystal") |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
We all live in our memories at one time or another...or at least this is how it struck me. Quite charming...for old folks. ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. KRJ |
||
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
An absolutely amazing piece of work.........I sat spellbound in the trance you created with this poem. It gripped the reader from the beginning and took them on a wonderful, maddening joyride to the very end. The flow as smoothe as honey and just as tastey. A very sad tale of not being able to let go. You outdid yourself!!! [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 07-08-99).] |
||
Cinderella Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152Arizona |
What passion you show as I clung to every word! Marvelous as always. |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
My warmest thanks to all of you. Hoot_owl, thank you very much! |
||
Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
Great poem, though like most of the others, I didn't find it sad at all... Baladeer was it your intention for this one to leave the reader thinking the lovers scenario was a sad one? To me it is the comfortable feelings between two lovers who have grown together so well that they no longer pay attention to small changes; they are more concerned with the larger meaning of love and the comfort of being together. I'd probably get a whack if i read it to my wife though! Excellent capture here! PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Afraid you blew a tire on this one, Poetwheel. It's about a man so enraptured with a past lover that, even though the affair is over, she is the only one in his mind, no matter who he is with and, in his delusional fantasy, he is always with her. You took the time to read it, study it and question it. That makes you aces with me! Thanks for your comment. ......and thank all of you very much. |
||
IsabelleSkye Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253 |
I wonder, my friend, if there isn't a "secret" part in our hearts that we hold for someone special. I have one and I can relate to this poem totally. The mind is a great tool, with it we can delude ourselves, we can imagine anything. Is it a bit odd to be able to still feel someone's skin even after months of being apart? *SIGH* Well it looks like no answers could be given for a delusion like this. All in all I loved this, and I'll just ramble my way outta the door! Much Luv IZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY |
||
tulip Member
since 1999-07-04
Posts 320unknown |
Excellent! |
||
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Glad you remembered. I'd forgotten about it until you reminded me. -dp |
||
Delilah Junior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 36The Wonderful America |
Beautiful...unique. ------------------ Delilah :) |
||
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Occasionally a piece of poetry, not lost in Darkness, grabs me. This was one. ------------------ I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say. |
||
Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
Ahhh! After a reread I caught the message. It was completely lost on me the first time around - this is not due to your style, its simply becase I didn't read it with an open mind... Excellent! Even better after the 2nd read. Thanks for the signal flare. PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
...and my undying thanks to all of you. |
||
Leigh Anne Junior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 48Scottsboro, AL USA |
Dearest Balladeer, Your continued words of beauty and truth have a way of inspiring me, at my most uninspirable times! Keep it up! |
||
blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
need i say more than "thank you." your words are enchanting. blueloon |
||
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
MR.MAck, this is just beautiful,I wish I had had such a past love!. marty |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ah, Marty, call me Michael...please! and, if you don't have a past love like that I'm sure you'll have a future one that fits the bill |
||
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Have come back to read this three times.So lovely. marty |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
OhBalladeer~ This IS beautifully expressed ... oh, how I know that lover~ I've just swiped this one for framing~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you, Marge. I always enjoy getting framed by you |
||
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Always loved this one, so back to the top. marty |
||
Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
oh this is something that needs to be bumped. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
a bump from you is always welcome, Susan |
||
ladylisa Member
since 2007-04-29
Posts 342Florida USA |
Wow, I am moved. Said a great deal to me about love, past and present. Thanks for sharing this. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |