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Open Poetry #1
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Don't Ask Me To Write A Poem For You
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Don't Ask Me To Write A Poem For You |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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(We've all been asked at one time or another) I've been asked to write a poem for you. I've been asked to put my deepest feelings, So strong they keep my insides reeling, On a white, cold, unfeeling Sheet of paper. Feelings as fragile as a stream of vapor Converted into lines of ink. Is it possible? I don't really think I can. Even if I had a magical power I could not put the fragrance of a flower On paper. Not with all the lines there are Could I put the brilliance of a star On paper. Oh, I could write the silly phrases And all the thought the word "Love" raises As I could write 'spaceship' or 'Atlantic Ocean' But the depth and the strength and the strong emotion Behind those words I could not put down in writing. For my love is so powerful, so great and so strong - The finest that's ever come along That there is no paper large enough Nor is there a pen strong enough To hold them. I could write "I Love You" But the written words would not show This fire that sets my heart aglow Nor show the blueness in my eyes The tremor in my voice, The warmth in my thighs When I think of you. They wouldn't show the anticipation Of being with you Nor the elation Of holding you Nor the frustration Of missing you. The pen would surely break in half If I tried to write, on my behalf, With the strength that lies behind those words. No, I won't try. Don't ask me to write a poem for you. Although you may think there's nothing to it, To try to put down what I feel for you Is much too hard - I just can't do it. What I feel for you ..... I want you to know it So, instead of writing, let me just show it. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I swear, when you've been asked to write a poem and the words won't come, it is a huge pain. My friend asked me to write a poem for her, and it took me about four months (no exaggeration there because I couldn't find a topic. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I can write a poem for someone. I've done many poems this way. Weddings, birthdays, Mother's Day, retirement....they are so personalized that no one here would understand, but they worked for the people who wanted them. I do an 'interview' then put the words down on paper.... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I'm sure you're very good at it, too, Poet deVine. My point, however, at least for me is how difficult it is to write a poem for someone I have such strong feelings for that anything I put down seems trite or insufficient. Sometimes, words are not enough. You have to tear open your chest and let them see your heart. When you tear paper, all you have is scrap. Wedding, bar mitzvas, birthdays? Bring 'em on! |
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fjones Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98MS |
What a beautiful love poem-surely not as good as showing it -but GOOD! |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I am editing this message because I can't believe I said what I said, but never mind that. Trying to write a poem can be VERY hard!!! [This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 07-26-99).] |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
I love this I need to show it to my wife and say here this is why tis so hard!!! |
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Krystal Member
since 1999-06-19
Posts 140Shelton,WA USA |
Balladeer... This is beautiful!! You may not have put down on paper the brilliance of that star, but your writing shines so brightly, if it were a star, it would have to be the brightest in the night sky!!! I was so touched by this poem, it was so well-written. I, myself, can't find the words to say what this poem made me feel. ------------------ Shannon D. Montgomery ("Krystal") |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you all for your nice words. Krystal, I can't tell you how your comments make ME feel! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
My friends say I've got a talent for words and that I should share my work. So I've come to this site to see what others write, and this is my introduction. I'm stunned! Who ever seeks to follow your submission is made of stronger steel than I. Thanks for the great read. I'll be sure to notify others of the quality to be found here. Andrew |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Andrew, you just bring your steel over here and join us. We're a good group and we would love to have you join in! |
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#5 PS Junior Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 19Ogden, Utah, USA |
Balladeer, The last 2 lines says it all, besides personally i can't just write a poem with real feelings just on the spur of the moment Everyone can rhyme but not everyone has what it takes to let you "feel" it, a good explanatory poem...  ------------------ #5 Poetic Society |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Very good. Thank you. |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Sir Balladeer, my searching in the cellar of Passions tonight has just paid off. I have just found the masterpiece of all your masterpieces. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Thank you llost dreamer, bal- I think this expresses so elegantly why you can't always write whats in your heart. Even for those of us in the business of manipulating words, for some things there can be a lack of words. Though I must say that here you came as close as must be possible! ------------------ Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Well my friend. What a wonderful piece of work. And I do agree with you, I myself can't seem to put those strong feelings into words. They come out so insignificant! This was just beautiful!!!! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well, you've done it again Balladeer - produced exiquisite writing. I think though, as you probably know or maybe intended that the depth of your love does indeed show through your words. |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
There is such truth in your poem Balladeer! I, too, have trouble with this. I can write of the anger I have toward this person sometimes, I can write of the disappointment I occasionally feel, but when it comes to expressing the true, deep love onto a piece of paper...it never says enough. You have explained it most beautifully. Bravo! ------------------ The only man worth your tears will never make you cry... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, You say you could not write a poem of love? Well i sure felt the breeze of that one. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
'Deer Now that I know how you feel about me, go ahead and write your poem. I'll understand if your words seem trite. Really. I will. Oh, BTW - you are truly something else, my man. Truly. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Says he can't... and then he does! *S* VERY good! |
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Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
BRAVO!!!!!! Truer words have never been spoken...er...written...good job as usual |
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Stephanie Robinson New Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 5 |
This is really good. I know what you mean because I have tried to write so many poems to show how I feel but every time I try it doesn't come out right or it is never enough. Thanks for your poems. I really enjoy them. They bring out many different emotions. |
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
Bravo! Would you write a poem for me?.. PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html ICQ: 44370408 |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It's nice to be able to visit the archives again.... |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
'Deer you're right it's too hard to write a poem for the someone special. This is utterly wonderful, I love it, of course. Absolutely excellent, now if the brain is working the way it should I'll remember to tick the box If not I'll have to do it again, oh I wish i hadn't lost my brain. love as always Mushy    Take back the hope you gave,- I claim |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
it's beyond anything words can conjure up, glad to see this one in today's topics! "This rose has seen red, I have been blue |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Sometimes being mute is fraught with feeling. I often find this true when I want to comment on particularly moving writes, only to sit in awe, speechless. Your poems have that effect on me frequently. ~ Karen ~ |
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trutodaraiders Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820CA |
I swear this is so true. Words limit us to what we really want to say. Showing is better beyond measure |
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ladylisa Member
since 2007-04-29
Posts 342Florida USA |
Yet another piece of brilliant work. Spoke to my heart. |
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