Open Poetry #1 |
Satan's Snow |
Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Lord Satan was sick With a kink in his tail So he called for Bal Best apothecary in Hell Bal took one look At that bent old tail Produced two white pills And a bill of sale "Here, take two of these, And call me in the morn. Now, no torturing sinners And go watch some bad porn." So down the pills went With the greatest of ease And in half an hour Came Satan's first sneeze It was the first of many That just wouldn't stop And the more he sneezed The worse they got With each great blast Satan's anger grew A madness so hot That his horns turned blue Sneeze after sneeze He was now in full rage That the Devil couldn't stop Put his mind in a haze Then the final fit came With one last blow Making Satan's mind so befuddled That he caused it to snow As the white flakes fell Promises came to mind And Satan made one more That he'd pay Bal in kind But how was Bal to know What would make the Devil sneeze That taking penicillin Would trigger sever allergies Poor Bal now stands in a vat With monkey vomit to his chin While imps in speedboats go round Making waves that never thin So if you find yourself Traveling heated lands below Reserve some pity for the demon Who had a hand in Satan's Snow [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 08-05-99).] |
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© Copyright 1999 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
The more I read about his plight, The more it makes me madder. I think I'll make for him tonight A 50 foot Bal ladder. Balladeer - You're one incorrigi-bal lad, deer... Miss Behavin' [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 08-04-99).] |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Most appreciative he'd be For a ladder so tall As the vats gotten deeper For poor old Bal |
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poohbear Junior Member
since 1999-08-02
Posts 42piedmont,sc |
it caused me sorrow to hear about satans sneeze but it certianly falls short of giving reason to get on my knees so please do know thats as satans troubles go for this one i was so pleased i grabbed my swimtrunk and my skis nice job as always |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Poohbear, if you're interested I think one of the imps has a tow line behind his boat. I'm sure it won't make much difference to Bal. Have a fun time |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Shamelessly throwing this one too the top. Hope nobody minds. |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Well, you certainly couldn't tell Satan "God Bless You"....when he sneezes. You guys are just too much..LOL |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Thanks for coming by Sally. I think if you were to bless Satan he'd break out in a severe case of the hives. |
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Dragoness Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513 |
I loved this! Thought it should be up with the new post. ------------------ Set you heart free and your mind will follow. |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This was great, I can't wait to read part 2. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Thank you, one and all for taking the time to read and share your comments. You've all made my day! I definitely understand how easy it is to miss something given all the postings that materialize in a 24 hour period, so no apologies necessary. Part Three? It's a possibility… depends on whether God can cease sneezing before that final blast. If you will indulge me, I would like to acknowledge my inspirational sources for these two pieces. First of all, thanks to Harlan Ellison who wrote something titled the "Chocolate Alphabet from A to Z." Where the letter "Q" stood for a demon who did just what was described in "Satan's Snow." I read it all of some 20 years ago and it has always stuck with me as a very funny situation. If you ever come across this selection of short stories I highly recommend them. Secondly, I give thanks to the humor of George Carlen with a routine that stated: "The guy we think of as God is only third in command." Thus, the whole notion of God and Satan being less than supreme, having a mom, and being brothers. Sort of a Cain and Able thing. I would also like to thank all of you who reside within these poetic halls for have provided the inspiration to create and the courage to present those creations. I bow to you and yours in humble gratitude. |
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