Je Voudrais (I want) - pipTalk Forums

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Christina Myers
Member

since 1999-06-21

Posts 159

0 posted 1999-07-13 08:52 AM

I would like
to send you roses
at midnight

sing songs
underneath your balcony

stand on tiptoes
and grace your lips with mine

I want passion to erupt between us
like a thousand small detonations

your hand in mine
as we walk,
even if it's just to the curb and back

I want you.

Simply.
Passionately.
Always.

Why isn't it enough?

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And I thought: this is how poetry is born. It comes from invisible heights, it is secret and dark in its origins, solitary and fragrant, and like the river it will assimilate whatever falls in its current; it will seek a route between the mountains, and its crystalline song will ripple through the meadows."- Pablo Neruda

Daniel2
Junior Member

since 1999-07-13

Posts 28
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada

1 posted 1999-07-13 09:03 AM

Personally, I don't like sentimentality. Your last line takes the poem out of the realm of sentimental and makes a real statement, at least for me. Keep up the good work.

mia
Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 118

2 posted 1999-07-13 02:06 PM

I think that the whole poem makes a real statement. Isn't sentimentality a real statement? Isn't love? I think that this poem is wonderful and that a simple thought of sentimentality convey a million ideas. Christina... this poem is really good and that feeling that you write.. it does make a real statement.
(I did'nt want to be mean, just wanted to give my opinion...sorry if I offended anyone)

Mia.

Alain DeLaCendres
Member

since 1999-07-02

Posts 119
Ohio

3 posted 1999-07-13 08:33 PM

Je voudrais to tell you that I liked this poem. It's another for my "collection" if you would allow me to print it. May I?
The whole poem builds up a dream like romanticism that everyone loves to wish for, and the last line is like a cold splash of reality, kind of refreshingly ironic I thought. Very nice.

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Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.

jfreak
Member

since 1999-06-17

Posts 306
Yuma, AZ, USA

4 posted 1999-07-13 09:30 PM

Good question!! You have done an outstanding job on this one. The way you wrote is so different, yet it flows beautifully. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to more postings by you.

HEY MIA-don't worry about offending people. they will get over it. Just speak your mind, people will respect that more anyways. Just a word of encouragement.

JFreak

Christina Myers
Member

since 1999-06-21

Posts 159

5 posted 1999-07-14 01:21 AM

wow- thanks guys! real feedback...
would anyone believe I wrote this thing at 5am this morning inbetween getting dressed and ready for work? It almost didn't get posted!

thanks for the words, as always.

-Christina

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

6 posted 1999-07-14 01:27 AM

never know when inspiration hits i wont tell ya where mine comes to me at twood embarass

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