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Open Poetry #1

my boyfreinds blood

4eqinox2leanne0
New Member

since 1999-07-12

Posts 5
whitmore

0 posted 1999-07-12 01:43 AM

such chaos
brings disbelief,
horror
as the blood flowed.
(it's not blood, it's not blood)
clothes strewn everywhere
blood on the floor, the walls,
YOU!!! it reads in gory scarlett letters
(look at his eyes,)
(RUN RUN RUN)
as the world passes
in a srteak of colors
i wont scream
i'll run
(he deserved it, remember)
run, faster
(the black eyes, the bruises)
the moonlit walks home,
(THE WHISKY THE BEER THE TEARS-)
and i'm on the ground now, my face is wet,
lungs hurt
look how the blade slices the wrist
(you must join him)
the chest
i'll wipe it on the wall
just like him

grandiloquent
Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 104
Midwest America

1 posted 1999-07-30 04:01 PM

I'm tentatively going to speculate on the reason your poems have not gotten the response you may have at first expected:
There are a few verses here that strike people silent. This response doesn't necessarily come out of the quality of the poem; instead, it's sometimes based on the uniqueness of the style. I can say I liked this - that I find you original and the lines of text wonderfully cluttered - but any other retort just lies curled up contemplating on the floor in my head.

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