Open Poetry #1 |
The changes of Life through a teens eyes. |
SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs New Member
since 1999-07-29
Posts 4 |
Unstable hours of play, Remain untouched for eternity. The air is stale. But oh so free I feel! Clattering in the distance I no longer belong, Yet my place remains open. Moving through the grass, The night is so peaceful. Each picture I paint Feels stronger then the next. Carrying memories to be blocked, I travel, yet remain plesantly amused. I wrote this poem after comming to the realization that I have become very different from my friends. I changed high schools for a year and upon returning to their presence, they still accept me, though I am no longer the superficial person I was. I still love them dearly and hold no regrets, it's funny how people change. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Something I can really relate to...excellent job!! ------------------ *Krista Knutson* "I will sail my vessel 'till the river runs dry, like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky..." Garth Brooks |
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TheGreenPolarBear Junior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 38Kansas |
Yep, I like this one too. The imagery is really good. But maybe try something like "But oh how free I feel!" or "But oh I feel so free!" I think either of those would fit better, unless you had a specific reason for your word choice. I like the last line, "pleasently amused" is well placed. Definitely, good poem. The Green Polar Bear |
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Princess Lily Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 149USA |
I liked it.Keep up the good work!~Lily ------------------ We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe *A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories stay alive* |
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Delores Hall Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342USA |
As we get older we all change.What we think is good today may not be what is good for tomorrow. It's about growing as a person. |
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SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs New Member
since 1999-07-29
Posts 4 |
thanx for the input.. i am really happy to know someone like me poem |
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