e plurbus unum (comments and criticism more than welcome)

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hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

0 posted 1999-09-13 09:28 AM

(this is one of those poems I've had laying around on my desk top for months now and really can't decide what to do with it...should I round file it or is it workable...any comments or criticism welcome)

e plurbus unum
(One Out Of Many)

One out of many,
~a solitary voice
crying out to be heard
and my words fell on deaf ears,
lingering softly in the air
before falling short.
Who did I think I was,
by thinking I could change the world~
when I couldn’t even change myself?

One out of many
~a single life,
like a flicker of a candle
in infinite darkness.
How could I believe my light
would shine bright enough
to dispel the shadows,
brighten someone’s way,
or bring light into an otherwise gloomy world?

I was one out of many
~and so were you,
but you choose me, out of all the rest;
heard my voice;
saw my light;
and changed my life forever.

One out of many
~but sometimes one is enough.

------------------
"This world is not conclusion.
A sequel stands beyond,
Invisable as music,
But positive as sound."
~Emily Dickinson

[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 09-13-99).]

Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

1 posted 1999-09-13 10:40 AM

OK, I don't know why you would even want to put this lovely poem in the round file???? Its meaning is beautiful and the words provoke thought. I thought it was very good! I think perhaps a change of title though. Its a little frightening..hahhaha.. I can't even read English well enough to start trying to see the meaning of words from another language...hahhaa..

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

2 posted 1999-09-13 10:52 AM

Lucie, thanks. By the way...e plurbus unum means one out of many. I appreciate your vote of confidance on this one, I certainly didn't have any where it was concerned.

------------------
"This world is not conclusion.
A sequel stands beyond,
Invisable as music,
But positive as sound."
~Emily Dickinson

roxane
Senior Member

since 1999-09-02

Posts 505
us

3 posted 1999-09-13 11:43 AM

I thought that this was so.....Are you seriously contemplating throwing it away? Don't! It is really sweet.

Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

4 posted 1999-09-13 12:01 PM

I know what it means..hahahhaa.. geesh..

:::again she's taken literally.hhaha:::

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 1999-09-13 12:27 PM

Hoot: I like!!! The last line is so true... if it's the right one.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 1999-09-13 12:40 PM

Hoot,
You seem in the end to direct it to one person. I think you should follow thru on the general theme. IMHO PS. love your work.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

7 posted 1999-09-13 04:15 PM

Thanks each one of you. Another piece of paper saved from filling up our landfills

------------------
"This world is not conclusion.
A sequel stands beyond,
Invisable as music,
But positive as sound."
~Emily Dickinson

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

8 posted 1999-09-13 05:06 PM

Hoot, this was really good. I loved it!!!
It does provoke thought! You can file this under "A" for Awesome work!!

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