Open Poetry #2 |
That One Day |
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
So filled with joy for dreams come true This day awaited all life through A wedding ring, that kiss, a vow... But promised love went wrong somehow. The perfect mate she strove to be Yet never good enough was she And though she yearned a peaceful life The only thing she found was strife. Such tyranny she'd never known Why did she reap what she'd not sown; Down through the years all hope had died; Sheer terror killed the love inside. Beneath a reign of senseless rage She found her soul trapped in a cage Of fear, disgust and cursed that day And wished it all would fade away. "A nightmare, only, let this be May I awake to find I'm free" Yet fade, she knew, it never would; She'd turn back time, oh, if she could... Turn back time's hands to that one day Take back her hand and run away If she but knew what was to be From by his side she'd surely flee. ------------------ Denise |
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© Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
MsLola New Member
since 1999-09-14
Posts 5Campbell, CA |
Well written...left me thinking. Lisa ------------------ Either I will find a way or make one. |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Really enjoyed this Denise...sorry to admit but I can relate. ------------------ Julie ------------------------- Thou who has given so much to me, give one thing more: a grateful heart. >George Herbert |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
You've just dropped another pearl in the ocean my friend..:.. ------------------ A hero is a man who does what he can. ~Isis~ (The Fragile Rose) |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Although sad, I did enjoy the read, well written ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
What a great poem.. you captured the true emotion and feeling of many women. That my friend is the key to great poetry! composing something that pulls emotion from many. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
this piece touched me also Denise, in a personal way....you said it so well.... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Denise...I can relate to this one, only I did flee |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Great poem! (you're obviously referring to all the girls I've known before?)....This is one of the best I've read yet.....(remember this is a compliment from Toerag, and you know what little that's really worth).....but, in my opinion...this is superb! |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
wow, readin this was like looking into a mirror...when i read the title, I didn't expect this, but the more I read the more it pulled me in, very well done ...hugs |
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Paul Allen Lupien Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 114Ferndale,Mi.USA |
Nicely constructed,perfect meter,clearly painted vignettes of once-upon-a-time possibilities... PAL ------------------ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Excellent!!!! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you all for reading and commenting. I decided to see if I could still touch those feelings from so long ago. I usually try not to think about those years. But this about sums up my life for 14 years. I escaped too, Hoot. Finally! The best thing I ever did for my kids and myself! Thanks again all for reading! Toerag - A person with the heart of a poet, in my opinion, like yourself, could hardly be the type of person that I was married to! |
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H. Arlequin Member
since 1999-08-23
Posts 210 |
HA applauds! |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
The Tragedy in this is too many of us relate to your words. As you well know from my work. To escape is the goal and I am pleased that you as well as hoot and I did. Existing is all we do in a situation like that. I too was fooled by the title. Well written. [This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 09-29-1999).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
HA and Marilyn, I thank you for your kind words. Before I lived this terrible life I didn't know that people like that existed. I guess I was quite naieve. This problem is truly a tragedy for everyone involved. And believe me,for the record, nobody wants to live like this, regardless of what the 'wannabe' therapists (and I use that term loosely) say on T.V. People who say that we 'asked for it' or secretly love being treated so horribly are only adding to the injury. Fear is probably the most powerful emotion there is and can be quite paralyzing. Well that's my 2 cents worth on something that has always bothered me regarding this subject. (sorry for going on so long.) ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 09-29-1999).] |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Excellent writing, d. I like how you showed in the first stanza that it started out the way many marriages do. Some people just don't realize how women get trapped into abusive relationships. I love the reference to the cage! ------------------ It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. --W.E. Henley Visit my poetry website: www.geocities.com/Paris/Musee/9954/ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Tara. A cage, yes, that's exactly what it felt like. I'm glad you enjoyed it. ------------------ Denise |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
D... that was beautiful. So sad, but so beautiful at the same time. Ironic? no. That is love sometimes |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
incredible! |
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