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Beki
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

0 posted 1999-09-22 10:47 PM

I was talking with an online friend the other day and he said "write a poem for me...right now" This is what I came up with in about 5 minutes so it is far from my best...but reading it over I don't think it is too bad either...tell me what you think...

Garrett's Poem

Now that you are in my circle,
wholly a part of my design,
I must decide just where to place you,
your perfect fit into my life.

Perhaps you are my kindred spirit,
he who dances through my sleep
whose ready wit and poetry
determine which words I should keep.

Could you be my sanctuary,
a candle in my darkest need;
that place I run to when I fail,
where all my pathways seem to lead?

might you be my warrior poet,
that phantom lover of my dreams?
A man whose wisdom and whose strength
defeats each obstacle that gleams?

or are you most a simple friend,
a smile and laughter on my way?
I would be blessed to take your hand
if so, it is enough today.

------------------
"We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.....the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"
--John Keating, Dead Poets Society

[This message has been edited by Beki (edited 09-27-1999).]

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

1 posted 1999-09-22 11:32 PM

Veyr nicely written...I sometimes find some of my better work comes when I just feel and write and don't think

------------------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

Beki
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

2 posted 1999-09-23 05:10 AM

Thank you Hoot......I also find some great things happen when I just put pen to paper and let it go.....:-)

Beki
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

3 posted 1999-09-27 02:24 AM

Moving this one up for more comment...apparently not many saw it :-)

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

4 posted 1999-09-29 12:15 PM

I love this Beki! I wish I could write something this lovely in 5 minutes!

------------------
Denise

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

5 posted 1999-09-29 02:45 AM

Beki-the most profound and poignant poetry comes from inspiration and the heart. There is a lot to be said for form and work, but nothing can ever replace soul!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

6 posted 1999-09-29 09:17 AM

This is great Beki, nicely written

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge

Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

7 posted 1999-09-29 09:22 AM

wonderful....5 minutes,wow.....love your work

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

8 posted 1999-09-29 09:57 AM

Beki,
Enjoyed the poem. Writing is much like painting, once you make the enitial stroke or word the work seems to flow.

Beki
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

9 posted 1999-09-29 09:57 PM

Thanks a bunch everyone :-)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2004-05-30 03:59 AM

nicely done!

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