Untitled (let me know what you think...)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #2

Untitled (let me know what you think...)

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 1999-09-27 11:15 PM

Forgive me God, I forgot how to pray
Meaningless dreams I come to envision
Love plays its role in your wonderful play
Mythical hero without a mission
Love’s open eyes in me find appealing
Uniqueness of faith and likeness of feeling

------------------
I fell in love and kept on falling

Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

1 posted 1999-09-28 12:54 PM

I really like the message here. Our spirits get lost sometimes...the only part I had trouble with was "Love's open in me find appealing". Either I didn't grasp that meaning or it didn't pull together as the rest...overall Good Work.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Thou who has given so much to me,
give one thing more: a grateful heart.
>George Herbert

MsLola
New Member

since 1999-09-14

Posts 5
Campbell, CA

2 posted 1999-09-28 01:08 AM

I like it...though found the 3rd line "Love plays its role in your wonderful play" awkward....with the 2 'plays'. I especially like the format....

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

3 posted 1999-09-28 07:06 AM

Thanks Julie and MsLola!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

4 posted 1999-09-28 09:41 AM

Nice message Master...I enjoyed

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

5 posted 1999-09-28 03:27 PM

Thanks Hoot!

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

6 posted 1999-09-28 06:03 PM

However, I did like what you highlighted there. *Forgive Me Love-My Love's Uniqueness*
That was neat!

------------------
Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

7 posted 1999-09-28 09:50 PM

Thanks WhiteDove, I'm planning to edit the body of the poem a bit... I'm not so sure I like it too much, but I love that line.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.