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Open Poetry #2
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Mother's first moments (a pantoum, challenge from WhtDove)
| Open Poetry #2 |
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Mother's first moments (a pantoum, challenge from WhtDove) |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
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I was lifted up on angel's wings The first time I beheld your elfin face. I was enchanted by the little things; No joy on earth that vision could replace. The first time I beheld your elfin face, The miracle of you had struck me dumb; No joy on earth that vision could replace When tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb. The miracle of you had struck me dumb -- No moment was more sanctified than this -- When tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb, My spirit knew a rich, euphoric bliss: No moment was more sanctified than this; I was enchanted by the little things. My spirit knew a rich, euphoric bliss ... And I was lifted up on angel's wings! ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") [This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 09-23-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wow...beautiful... ------------------ *Krista Knutson* Mockery is a form of ignorance; silence, a form of wisdom. -- Daniel L. Miller |
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Starith Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 176Leesburg, FL USA |
This is simply beautiful...I can feel your joy and pride...what a perfect way to describe such a wonderful miracle.  Another great piece! Star ------------------ We are only truly apperciated after we are no more! |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
this is beautiful, i love this style of poetry ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Nocht you met the challenge very well! Amazing what a small little miracle will do to one isn't it? Very beautiful! |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Nocht, I don't usually like pantoums, but I LOVE THIS ONE! it's so tender, loving, proud. how well i recall those moments! ------------------ Work like you don't need the money, love like it's never going to hurt, dance like nobody's watching. Visit my poetry website: www.geocities.com/Paris/Musee/9954 |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You've written a lovely pantoum - I don't know which is my favorite among the formats, but I do seem to keep returning to the pantoum. Your rhyme scheme is flawless, and your meter is a consistent iambic pentameter - The only critical comment I could muster up is that the first line is one syllable short of pentameter.... Geesh - That's pretty good, my friend... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Excellent...you lived up to the challange well. This was absolutely beautiful ------------------ Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same. Thank you all for leaving footprints!! |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Thank you all for reading and responding ... I had a lot of fun doing this one, as this truly was one of the most unforgettable moments of my life ... when I read the challenge phrase, this was the event that popped into my head, and the rest was easy ... I dedicate this with all the love my heart can hold to my daughter and son, whose innocence and character infused what was once a directionless life with new meaning and hope ... Nocht ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
WOW....wonderful....enjoyed this much ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Excellent pantoum dear Lady! ------------------ Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© |
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traveler Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119 |
Simply beautiful ... |
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