RE-WRITE Second Best - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

AliceInWonderLand
New Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 5
Philadelphia

0 posted 1999-09-23 04:04 PM

Thanks for all you comments, I tried to put less I's... no matter what the meaning of this poem is still the same..

SECOND BEST

You said that girl you kissed last night met nothing, and you'll never see her again, so I take you back on your word, and my ears reject all your new promises and place them with the empty ones they already heard.

And still, my lonely heart takes you back, even with all this pain and worry laid upon my chest, but I guess its something I have to settle for when I settle for second best.

And maybe you don't know how much you hurt me or maybe that is what you like, but I always seem to let you..... And I don't know why I let this go so far, maybe I'm just afraid to be alone, or maybe pain is the only real thing I ever knew....

I feel like I'm going backwards up a slide and its all my fault that my life is such a mess, but I guess its something that I want, but don't want to settle for, but don't think I deserve more than second best..

anonymousposter
New Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 3

1 posted 1999-09-23 10:58 PM

definately worth another go, back
up to the top...

Julie
Senior Member

since 1999-08-20

Posts 739
Houston, TX

2 posted 1999-09-24 04:52 PM

It flows so well! Good job. To the top!

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Thou who has given so much to me,
give one thing more: a grateful heart.
>George Herbert

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

3 posted 1999-09-24 05:28 PM

Nicely written....
I like this line
"maybe pain is the only real thing I ever knew.... "

------------------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

Lorelei
Junior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 23
Philadelphia, PA

4 posted 1999-09-25 07:11 PM

Excellent!!! Well, maybe I am a little biased, since i'm your friend, but this poem helped me get out of a bad situation. I hope it helps others like me... Up to the top you go. Oh and, it does flow better without all those I's. Has a better rhythm.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.