I was Lifted up on Angel Wings......

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Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

0 posted 1999-09-23 03:20 PM

I was lifted up on angel wings
Made of tissue to frail for my filthy soul
I tumbled back down
To the glass world
And I smashed right through it
That little bit of hope
Shattered my fragile existance
Of misery and apathy
That little bit of hope
Took me so high
I had to come down
And I came down hard
So hard, now I'm broken
That little bit of hope
Killed me

This was a response to a challenge by WhtDove

[This message has been edited by Systematic Decay (edited 09-24-1999).]

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

1 posted 1999-09-24 11:59 AM

I often wonder when I read your postings what could have happened to you that has caused this outlook on life. I would be curious to know more of your story besides the bits and pieces I have gained from your postings and your replies.
I have not lived a charmed life by any means...but I refuse to let life and others get the best of me. I myself would take a little hope anyday as opposed to no hope at all.

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Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

2 posted 1999-09-24 12:41 PM

Sys, this makes me feel so desolate,it's
so full of despair.

Jenny

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

3 posted 1999-09-24 12:55 PM

Hoot....I can't begin to tell the tell of my life....it's so full of hatred it makes my blood boil to even think about it....and so full of misery that my heart feels leaden. I'll let you know that while most people have a scapegoat for their problems, I know mine are all my fault. I have also learned that hope, while a good thing, is also a dangerous thing...It gets your spirit up, and then when things don't turn out right (And for me they rarely do) it smashed your soul into the dirt....You know the feeling, the feeling like your guts just dropped 10 miles....That is why I hate hope....why I continue to have it, I have no idea.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

4 posted 1999-09-24 01:05 PM

What can I say S.D.? I am sorry to hear that you have been so hurt. We all get down when things don't work the way we want them to. We have to pick ourselves up and go on. One thing I have found, and you may not agree and that's fine, is that when we control or try to, we fail, we are human. That is why we should try to do what is God's will and not our own. He can do so much better than we can! We all have filthy souls, but at forgiveness it is clean as new fallen snow. Until we do it again. May you find hope, not in humans but in God my friend.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

5 posted 1999-09-24 01:19 PM

Thanks whtDove for the comment. there was jsut one thing I disagreed with, and Im not saying this to start a fight...just to compare contrasting opinions. I really do not agree that we should do Gods will as opposed to our own. If that were true, what's the point of living? We humans would only fail anyway because according to the popular belief, God is perfect, and we are imperfect, therefore we couldn't possibly live up to God's expectations. That right there is one major problem I have with organized religion. It teaches us to feel guilt for wanting to live our own lives, and teaches us that we shouldn't bother with our own pleasures, but only with God's will. I am not saying that there isn't a God, but I refuse to blindly believe in this religion simply because it is what most of America believes. My other problem with organized religion, esp. Christianity, is that it is in our daily lives too much. I don't care what other people believe, as long as it's not shoved down my throat and I'm not considered bad or weird because I don't believe in it. (Im not saying thats what you were doing, Wht) I got a lot of crap at my school last year, everyone thought I was a counter-culture, racist, devil-worshipping psycho and thought I was gonna come to school with guns and shoot everyone. (Even the faculty had their eye on me with random locker searches and searcihng me) Anyway the point I'm trying to make...AHHH I forgot the point I was trying to amke, I just started rambling. OK sorry I'll shut up now

BTW: this is in no way an attack on WhtDove

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

6 posted 1999-09-24 01:46 PM

No offense taken buddy! I know what you mean. I will not force my belief on you. What you choose to do with your life is your buisness. I would however like you to email me if you would. Please? thanks

Paul Allen Lupien
Member

since 1999-09-09

Posts 114
Ferndale,Mi.USA

7 posted 1999-09-24 01:55 PM

Boy,do I know how you feel about hope.Only thing is,the alternative is even worse.
Waxing meta-physically,I feel that since God created our souls,they are always essentially perfect,untouchable by merely human actions or thoughts.However, what we do or think can make us forget our true nature-that of being Spirit,not body.We are not what we think.
Anyway,that's how I look at it.

Enjoyed your work...

PAL

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Pepper
Member Elite

since 1999-08-19

Posts 3079
Southern Florida

8 posted 1999-09-24 02:17 PM

SD.....it saddens me deeply to se such self-loathing, especially in a person so young. Like WhtDove,I am concerned and would like you to know that if you ever feel the need to talk or just need someone to listen please don't hesitate to email me.........

Genea
Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 321
USA

9 posted 1999-09-29 03:07 PM

I share your views on God, White Dove. I will say prayers for u, SD

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