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Open Poetry #2

My Sunny Day

U K Hero
Member

since 1999-08-08

Posts 266
England

0 posted 1999-09-18 03:31 PM

My Sunny Day

Do I love thee…?
If I a sunny day
Then you a flower be
Would you
For me
Your blossom Bloom,
Then me
For you
Of clouds
I shine them all away.

Would you love me?
If I
That flower
And you
A honey bee,
If so,
Then, for you my scent declare
And you, in meadow yonder
Will find my nectar there.

For I, would love thee
If I
That honey bee
Then I
In meadow fair
Would search for words to say
Will you
‘My sunny day’

U K Hero

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

1 posted 1999-09-18 03:53 PM

Lovely...

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 1999-09-18 03:54 PM

Wow! I love this one! Has a singsong quality to it..very memorable!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

3 posted 1999-09-18 04:36 PM

Beautifully written, the format works wonders with this piece

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"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" ~Albert Camus

Paul Allen Lupien
Member

since 1999-09-09

Posts 114
Ferndale,Mi.USA

4 posted 1999-09-18 06:32 PM

I like your precision of language,your sense of flow and rather classical understatement.
Less is often more nez-pas?Also,the gentility of sentiment-restrained as matches the essential proffering of your attentions to your desired one.It all fits and works very well.

PAL

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passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-04-23 01:02 PM

sweet write

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