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Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554


0 posted 2000-05-23 12:41 PM


This is a collaboration effort written with Brian.
He and I wrote a poem together in open 7 and we enjoyed that so much we decided to try it again writing a prose piece.
This is a great way to work on writing skills and to learn from each other. Brians writing strengths compliment my weaknesses and vice versa.
(he has no weaknesses tho) *smile*
I hope some of you will try this too.
Its not hard to do, we just each took turns writing a paragraph or two back and forth thru E-mail.
It is also a great way to make a new friend.
Thanks Bri...for challenging me to be a better writer...you are so great to work with.
Hope you enjoy, I know I did      
--------------------

     She stood in the elegant lobby of the New York hotel.
Anxiously shifting her weight, searching the marble and mahogany room
for a glimpse of him.
She could hardly breathe, her chest weighted with anticipation and desire. They
had waited for months for this chance. She wondered if his flight had been
delayed. She would not allow herself to think he had changed his mind at the
last minute, even though she had the same thoughts just before boarding her
flight. It was hard to accept this was wrong, forbidden. They had denied
this between them for so long. Denied the attraction and love that had grown
between them working side by side each day at the office. The chemistry
evident to them the instant they first met, upon first eye contact. It was
intense between them. But they had ignored it. Both were married, though
neither happily. Still both had tried to honor their word, their promises.
Even though both knew the pain of the reality that neither of their partners
had remained faithful. They had comforted each other in this discovery. It
was what had brought them closer, what had taken them past friendship. But
other than a few playful touches and a couple of stolen kisses, they had
not allowed themselves the temptation. Knowing there would be no turning
back if they gave into it.


     Now the job had sent them here to meet new clients.
They both knew it was their time, their chance.
She looked up from her thoughts to see him walking towards her, smiling.
He took her breath away upon eye contact. Neither could speak,
they just stood their gazing into each others eyes, taking this moment of anticipation in.

    Kevin walked through the main entrance, cursing himself for being late,
the traffic for delaying him and he cursed himself for having ever set eyes on her.
No, he did not, he loved her more than anything else, from the first glimpse of her
across the office he knew that they were destined to be together. Nothing
would stop him, not even the fact that he was married, especially his
marriage. After three years he considered it a sham and would have filed for
a divorce, only his over zealous catholic parents would probably disown him.
How could he explain that he married out of fear of being lonely, that he
had convinced himself that he was in love? He had found true love a year
ago when she transferred from the Boston office and walked straight into his
life and stole his heart. Perfect, beautiful Eliscia, or Elise for short, as
only he called her. Every night for three months he tortured himself
thinking about her, her long lush amber hair, her wide brown eyes, her
tender skin, her angelic voice. It was all too much and finally he gave into
temptation, only to discover that she shared the same feelings.

      
      His stomach tightened, his mouth was arid and his palms were sweaty.
"Christ, I probably look like a mess, " he thought as he stopped in the
lobby and quickly scanned all the strange faces in the hopes that she was
there, that she had not realised how stupid the whole thing was. "This is
it, this it is it, " he muttered over and over again. An overwhelming sense
of panic took him over as he searched the crowds in the lobby again and
again unable to find her.  He turned around, dismayed, when suddenly their
eyes made connect and she smiled warmly, it at that second he knew that this
was meant to be, there was no turning back from here on in. He walked over
to her and sat down beside her.


     "Sorry I am late, traffic was hell," "No problem" she said softly, God
she was beautiful, he noticed when he sat down that she was wearing his
favourite perfume. The same one she was wearing when they shared the first
illicit kiss. "No kiss?" she asked. He turned his head, scanning the other
faces sitting in the lobby. "You look nervous. Nobody is going to see us, we
are at least two hundred miles from anyone who knows us." He turns and gazes
directly into her eyes, "It is just that I do not want anything to destroy
what we have." Then he smiled, and calmly added, "let's check out our hotel
room and see what we can do about that kiss".


      They checked in at the main desk. Their secretaries had reserved them
each a room in the luxurious hotel. Since they were entertaining and meeting clients
here, their company had wanted to make a good impression. Otherwise they
would be in some no name motel off the interstate, by the airport. Either
way, it did not matter. One of the two rooms would not be needed. Still they
had to carry on and act professionally. That was the reason for separate
flights. They picked up their messages at the desk with their pass keys and
along with a bell boy that was carrying their things they boarded the plush
elevator and headed up to the 12th floor to their suites. She could hardly
feel her legs. The rush of the elevator lifting off went unnoticed due
to the rush in her chest. She slightly turned her head to gaze at him in the
gold, frosted, mirrored, walls of the elevator. He was doing the same, he
smiled at her and she had to catch her breath. He was so gorgeous, his
tanned amazing face. His jade green eyes. Those thin perfect lips. But it
was the gentleness of him, the soft vulnerability, mixed with his quiet
strength. That was what held her enchanted. Had it not been for the elevator
attendant and bell boy she would have pushed him up against wall and taken
him right then. She had never felt such anticipation, attraction, or desire
in her life. The intensity of it consumed her. She looked back at him and by
the look in his eyes she knew he was thinking the exact same thoughts.


    The elevator doors opened and they stepped out into the wide, long,
hallway of their suites floor. Their rooms were side by side at the end of the hall.
They went thru the motions of going in and putting their things down for the
sake of looking proper for the hotel staff. The bellhop left her room and
she stood looking about. The room was exquisite. Decorated like a Victorian
era boudoir. Fresh flowers and fruit bowls on the dark, cherry stained
tables. She looked thru the stack of messages in her hand. All from work.
Nothing from her husband. No surprise there. He had barely spoke to her for
days. Ever since she told him she was going on this trip. It had interfered
with a reunion of sorts he had planned with his 3 of college buddies. He had
wanted her there to show her off to them. That was what she was to him. His
prized show piece. He never spoke of her accomplishments or her promotions,
her job at all, for that matter. Only how gorgeous she was or how he had won
her away for his jock buddies. She shook her head wondering how she was ever
so taken with him in the first place. But the way he had acted in the last
year had made it real easy for her to make the decision to come here. In
fact he might as well have said she could cheat on him. Not that she needed
his permission. That was a given now. He had pushed her and tested her daily
since she found out about his affair with one of his coworkers. Still she
stayed. Not wanting to let his or her parents down. There were so many
obligations built up in the 6 years they had been married. His parents had
bought the house for them. His dad got her on at this job. And her mother,
she could never tell her mother. Not with all of her outdated beliefs of a
wife's duty. It was all so complicated that it was just easier to stay. Even if
it slowly drove her insane. She was just grateful there were no children to
complicate matters worse. She had focused on her career and put motherhood
on a back burner. They were only in their late twenties. There was plenty of
time to think about children later, or that had been her excuse to justify
her decision. A decision her mother constantly nagged her about.


      She was so deep in thought she had not heard Kevin come into the room.
He walked up from behind her and kissed her on the nape of her neck.
Upon his lips making contact with her skin she involuntarily sighed and let
out a soft low moan. Once again she could not feel her legs.
She let her body fall back against him where he stood behind her. She
reached over her shoulder and ran her hand thru his thick dark hair. As he kissed
her neck, she drew in a deep breath tasting the spice and musk of his cologne.
For a second she thought she might faint from sheer desire.


    It felt like a dream. After setting his bags down on the bed he floated into
her room in a trance. The smell of her perfume was intoxicating, the light
reflecting of her amber hair dazzled his eyes, and her gentle stance wooed
his heart.  Space and time vanished, there was only the here and now. It was
as if the world had been cleansed of everyone else, of the prying eyes and
the loose tongues and they were finally free to release their passion for
each other. Her lips were moist and sweet, her hot breath exhaled rhythmical
on to his face. Their lips locked. Their bodies pressed tight against each
other so that there was no space between them. As he kissed images flashed
in his mind, the first time they made eye contact, her warm glowing smile,
that first light kiss on the cheek, though slight and lasting mere seconds
was a monument of hope in his dreary life. He knew that she was his
salvation, his Eve holding the forbidden apple and he was Adam, tasting its
sweet sinful delicacy. To hell with the consequences.


     He retracted slowly from her tight embrace; her eyes that only a second ago
burned with passion were now quenched to cold surprise. Fears of doubt
flashed through her mind "Why is he backing away? Is it guilt? Does he not
love me?" Even though the gap between them was slight, his grip had loosened
it felt like there was an expanding chasm between them. An eternity passed
and then he spoke. "You are too beautiful," She sighed and smiled quietly in
relief, a trace of a tear rolled down her face. She hoped he hadn't noticed.
He moved his hand from her back and in a single graceful motion wiped the
tiny tear from her cheek. "No tears, " he whispered. "It is just I don't
want anything to come between us  I never want to let you go I need you I
would die without you."  It was only after she had spoken that she realised
that she sounded obsessed, that she should have held her tongue. "I know, I
feel the same way." As he spoke those words so gently they sounded to her
heart as a decree of true love, that no longer were they two separate souls,
they were now one soul, and one desire. In that moment they had created
their own language where words were not necessary, they knew the others
hearts, for they were reflections of each other.
From this point on, only each other would matter, all the obstacles would be overcome.
They would be together. Fate had sweetly intervened.
This now was meant to be.
All the rest was just a given.

--------------------




[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 05-23-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
1 posted 2000-05-23 01:07 AM


Wow, you two ----what a story --
Enjoyed reading this -- passions embrace -
life's tough decisions.  So glad they
found out that their marriages were not
working before kids were involved.  I am
a sucker for a happy ending.

I kept waiting for her husband to walk in.
LOL

~netswan

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2000-05-23 01:28 AM


WOW...

Have another: WOW...

This is so well written.
And engrossing. Happy endings are appreciated too - but sometimes I guess reality just isn't like that...lucky for your characters yes?

K

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
3 posted 2000-05-23 01:18 PM


No weaknesses? I don't know, I am always a sucker for cholocate and good poetry, I am gald just to able to have the chance to work with such a great writer.  Janet I can't see how you can be a better writer after all you can not improve on perfection. Thanks for making this so much fun, we will have to do something else like this again soon.  


 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

Small Black Flowers That Grow In The Sky

"You have your very own number
They dress your cage in its nature
Once you roared now you just grunt lame
Pace around pathetic pound games

Wanna get out won't miss you sensaround
To carry your own dead to swing your tyre tricks
Wanna get out here you're bred dead quick
For the outside,
The small black flowers that grow in the sky

They drag sticks along your walls
Harvest your ovaries dead mothers crawl
Here comes warden, Christ, temple, elder
Environment not yours you see through it all

Wanna get out won't miss you sensaround
To carry your own dead to swing your tyre tricks
Wanna get out here you're bred dead quick
For the outside,
The small black flowers that grow in the sky

Here chewing your tail is joy"

Richey Edwards


lorilockheart
Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206
Alabama
4 posted 2000-05-23 07:20 PM


You two are absolutely wonderful!  I was hanging on until the very end, and I'm a sucker for a happy one.

You compliment each other very well, and you are both excellent writers.  It's no wonder that something you team up on would turn out this way.  I am looking forward to another.

J. Marie - you know I enjoyed this one.
Lori

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance.
song by LeeAnn Womack
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
5 posted 2000-05-23 09:32 PM


I've been in a foul mood lately, and not really wanting to read, but I'll be durned if this piece doesn't at least warrant a reply.  For someone who's just starting prose you got the talent.  Good job you two  

 Abrahm Simons

"Flew too high and burnt the wing
Lost my faith in everything" - Trent Reznor, "Somewhat Damaged"

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-05-24 03:59 AM


WOWIE, this is so deceptively brilliant.

Simply put story, but mesmerising, and well chosen words....

"All the rest was just a given." what perfect choice of words. A nice short story, it is!

Hope that the "Janet-Brian" roller-coaster stays on for a long time and you churn out many more such brilliant stuff....

Regards,
Sudhir
Regards,
Sudhir.

 Life is like a painting,
That in an art gallery is left hanging,
Though many come just to look at it,
A very few actually come to enjoy it.

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
7 posted 2000-05-24 05:24 PM


Really enjoyed reading this Prose.  It was actually scarey because you could have written it about me.  Had a real experience like this in Los Angeles years ago.  There are so many similarities that it's like i told you the story and you wrote it almost to the smallest detail.
Brought back some special memories for sure.
Great writing Janet Marie and Brian.  You two have a nice style for sure.
This writing gets a "thumbs up" with applause!

Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
8 posted 2000-05-24 05:58 PM


WOOO WHOOO!!!! (Marina applauding wildly)  I like this one. Part two please!!!  Take it to Adult Baby!!!  
Nice job you two!!!

Marina

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
9 posted 2000-05-24 06:38 PM


YEA!!!! A story with a happy ending! Well, for
Eliscia and Kevin anyway!
This is awesome!
Found my self on the edge of my seat the entire read!
I look forward to another from you two!  
Keep up the great work!

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

10 posted 2000-05-25 06:55 PM


OOOOOH, Lovestorylovestorylovestory!!!! And this is one of the best! I really enjoyed it. You two make a great team. I hope I can see more soon!

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2000-05-25 11:28 PM


THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH
for the enthusiastic and encouraging remarks.
We appreciate the read and the kind replies.
we will let you know if there is a sequel  
take care all
jm
  THANKS BRIAN!!!! my poetic and prose prophet  

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
12 posted 2000-05-26 01:35 PM


sequel... I think we might be able to milk the plot for a triolgy...watch out for the
the sequel "enter the postman" R-rated.

Thank you all for your kind comments, and to Janet for stunning eye for realism and emotional detail. a pleasure working with such a pro.
  


  

 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

"Here chewing your tail is joy"

Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto



dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
13 posted 2000-08-06 01:57 AM


WOW guys!  the romance...WOOHOO!! you guys compliment each other well in writing together     

fantastic!  
dg

"Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you."
-Kahlil Gibran


Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2002-03-07 09:48 PM


That was a real grabber, and held my attention right to the end.  I am not a lover of "romantic" stories, but this was excellent.  Words are not necessary with souls, for they do speak to each other in their own language, "it's a given".  Excellent work you two, and I hope to see more as well, and I too want it taken to adult

~* Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people ." *~

Einstein

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2002-03-09 08:29 AM



Often I have used the phrase "it's a given"...but never, never, like this...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2002-03-09 08:17 PM


Sharon, and K, thank you so much for taking the time to read this...forgive me for taking so long to reply...we've had high winds here and power outages...and Ive a basement full of water...its gonna be a long weekend.
Writing with Brian was so cool...
I miss him much, he always challenged me to be a better poet...work a little harder for the right word.

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