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Catfish (K's Challenge)
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Catfish (K's Challenge) |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York 
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Johnnie was overweight. He weighed forty-four pounds and was only six years old. He was constantly hungry, yet tired of feeding on the bottom of the lagoon. The crayfish and insects just were not enough anymore. His belly grumbled. "Browwwrrrrr . . . grrrrrr . . . " Darn, he thought. If only I could catch me a chicken liver. Johnnie swam around the bottom, feeding on minnows to satisy his abnormal appetite. That's when he saw it. It gleamed, dangling in the sun streaming through the lagoon. It was the most beautiful site he had seen. It spun and smelled delicious. He shot up ahead for a bite. "Hey, Johnnie!" screamed his pal, Larry, "Don't you know what you are doing?" "Larry, you scared me half to death, I was just about to have some lunch," Johnnie replied, upset at this disturbance. "Don't you think for one minute you are getting that treat up there that I saw first!" "Awww, man . . . didn't your Dad teach you anything?" Larry laughed shaking his head. "That's a spinner up there, goofball, if you eat that, you're as good as dead." "You are such a liar!" Johnnie cried. "My mom told me to just stay away from the boat bottoms. She said that sometimes hooks will appear out of no place." Larry dipped his forked tail sideways, hitting Johnnie in the face with muck and gravel. Johnnie blinked his eyes and made a scowl at his best friend. Larry loved to horse around, but Johnnie was hungry. "Hey Larry, help me get this thing?" Johnnie tipped his top fin to the dangling treat, exposing his silvery sides. He figured he could share his find if he had to. "Man, we have to get out of here, Johnnie! Those are those human things up there trying to catch us!" Larry was starting to sound afraid. "D-d-d-ont y-you think we b-better get g-g-oing?" Johnnie saw no need for such ridiculous conversation. They had already been there arguing for what seemed well over an hour. It was getting too hot to be up this high in the water and he longed for the coolness of the bottom. He recalled parts of a story his Dad had told him when he was a little fish. He couldn't remember all of it, but he did remember the cool parts about the shiny things in the water. He didn't get to grow up with his Dad, one day he just disappeared. His mom never explained exactly what had happened to him. "Quit daydreamin', fatty." Larry joked. "C'mon, this place is bad news." Johnnie stared at his friend with disbelief. How could this possibly be a bad place? This was the best food he had ever found. There was no way he was turning back now. "No, I am staying," Johnnie quickly swam towards the surface. "Johnnieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . . . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Larry screeched, trying to hold back his friend. His grip was not strong enough. Johnnie was a big fish. Johnnie reared his spotted head, opening his large mouth. He clamped down on the shiny treat. My God, he thought. This is the best thing I have ever tasted! |
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| © Copyright 2005 Sue Eckam - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Smiling here..this was great. Your fish had character! And personality!  Where have you been hiding this prosy side???? I'm glad it found it's way out! |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Billy will treasure that later on in life, as his Mom writes a better fish than Nemo if you ask me.  |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
littlewing, This sure was a fun read from beginning to end! Looking forward to reading more of you catchy prose, miscee |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thanks you guys and quite frankly, this prose nonsense started from Karen you PDV . . . these challenges spark something that force you write, and I tried. Thank you for that. LOL Sharon, Billy ---> poor kid, I think he lives in a fantasy land already with my whacky stories. Thanks guys. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Your character also had attitude. Good job here, Sue! |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
good job,,,funny,,how even fish don't remember all the good advice dad gives,,lol No one really cares,,why should I? |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
I loved it! Very cute |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thanks everyone, I think I have watched Nemo one too many times . . . LOL |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Sorry I'm late.  (wasn't kidding about the migraine either) But this was just the right medicine! And I'm shaking my head, 'cause I kinda got boxed in by my own challenge--should have written before I posted it, because I thought I could only see this from the point of view that Sharon wrote, until I read yours. Now I'm left without a "hook"! This was great, Susie, and you know what impressed me the most? Was the obvious fun you had with this one.  Now...grumble, since ya'll took all the good fish stories, maybe I'll try switching the plastic bait to a worm, and writing from the point of view of the bait.  grin...love ya lady! |
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Michelle_loves_Mike
since 2003-12-20
Posts 1189Pennsylvania |
Nemo? I loved that movie! That forgetful fish reminds me of me,,,(I live and die by the post-it-note). No one really cares,,why should I? |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
sweetly sad and sadly sweet cant help but wonder if this were read to a child, is she/he would see it too, or do our perceptions alter with age and the realization of life's trasicence..and this beautiful little fish story got to me...and god how philosophic, yuck....it's that big5-0 coming up on tuesday suzie.........getting to me tonight  |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
suzie writes a fish in feathered lace checkered face he sinks in innocence from the safety within the deep he creeps above to the superficial skin only to fall in and wear the trap of the human race ** blame it on the magic dragon ** |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thanks you, Michelle. Michele, thank you so much for that and you know? A lot of children's books are pretty morbid, look at Disney . . . everyone dies in those flicks - but what you wrote , I adore and it isnt that 5-0 . . . I felt what you wrote too, on a different level, I think. But still, hitting the same nerve. The human race. In general. Karen, thank you so much, I did have fun with this one, I actually had to research the catfish LOL. Thank you again, for a challenge. Love you, too. |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
I read this before and thought I had commented! Loved the catchy beginning and the end, and all of the in-between! It sounds like you had fun with this! Nice job! miscellanea |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
Well! I was just thinking. Doesn’t anybody here do any creative writing? It’s nice to get a flip flab from Mother Goose, in this case a fish. It gets smelly in the old shoe when no one is trying to break new ground.—old guy in the back roll stands up and claps loudly. |
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