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Still Untitled Still Unfinished
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Still Untitled Still Unfinished |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm just kinda writing it off the top of my head. Tell me if it's good or where it needs improvement.... He takes a sip. It's funny watching his face change slightly. I know it's working its way into his body. The whole party is. Whoa, he says. Yeah man, that's good stuff. Cunilis stands there at the counter. He leans up against it and sips some more. I notice a couple girls coming over. Exare and Fabala. Cunilis looks a little shy. But he walks over and says hi anyway. He's calming down a little. Exare, what's up? She turns to Cunilis and says yeah, I'm doing pretty good. Cunilis doesn't know what to say. The data I'm getting here is amazing. Dang, I wish this guy could get it going a little faster and just talk. But he stands there, and it's like two battleships facing each other, wondering which'll move first. I think back on that theorem we learned. I forget how exactly the math goes. When you begin dialogue in a story it must be relevant to the setting and immediately dependent upon them. But they tell me that's just stuff you learn at an undergrad level. Later you can break the rules. Cunilis begins again. Me too. Do you come around this place often? It's a stupid question, but it's relevant to an undergrad. I leave them again and walk back into the living room. It's a good party. Lots of people to talk to. Cunilis is on his own now. He needs data if he's gonna be a writer. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 --Smit My Creations [This message has been edited by fractal007 (12-19-2004 07:57 PM).] |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
It is good...it seems to need a bit more info...what kind of undergrad? where is he? What is the setting? A bar? Frat house party??? ~~SCG~~ |
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