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Ladycat
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since 1999-07-05
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At the edge and a doorway,TX

0 posted 2003-06-03 09:09 PM


She layed there wrapped in a blanket of guilt waiting for her "Don Juan" to rescue her. The price she paid for insanity was measured and weighted in front of a court of truth. They found her wanting.
The medicine that she was taking was no longer seemed to work for her advantage. Constantly, she was sent back to her fairy tale happiness. Everything seemed greener. Yet, her lost was still there. In her disoriented state she was the next Alice but her wonderland fueled the fire of disbelief. Searching for something more. Some thing to live for.. She was hopeless. They say... She was a secret--wrapped in a box that had the words "Don't Touch" written on it. Tied up in a beautiful gold ribbon. Only her friends, her mind and her cat understood her. Waiting, waiting, waiting... "Parting is such sweet sorrow."  She mumbled almost inaudible to herself. There were no dreams that night only the occasional nightmare. Rocking back and forth as if she were a pendulum on a clock. As the birds chirped loudly, she looked to the sky. "That face--that face... I know that face. Somewhere." She pondered on and on. The voices in her head were trying to convince her that that was her father. She knew they were wrong though. It was really her love--her lover or was she just seeing things again. She giggled as if tickled from deep inside somewhere or was it just the thought of him coming to save her from the monotony. "Two stars shine brighter that the others yet fizzle and die just the same." It rolled off her tongue like if she was reciting poetry. She smiled and stopped rocking realizing that her rocking was giving her a sickness as if she were on a boat in the middle of the ocean. She rubbed her hands together. "Chilly, quite quite chilly. Where are you beautiful man? Where are you?" Said all in one breath as she sighed and a tear streamed down her face. "Now what was that saying about crying rivers." A thought that was lost on the winds of change. She stood and rewrapped her blanket. "Where are you beautiful man!?" She screamed as if it were for him to hear down the block. "Where are you?" She put her face in her hands to hide the shame. "Hush, little baby don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird...."
The last note was chocked on as she fell to her knees. "Christmas is around the corner and I have to buy gifts for everyone and I have to make a list and I have to get a new job and I have to change and shower and eat." She started to frantically look around for paper and pen and then fell back to the ground laughing over and over again. " Would you forgive me if I brought you a nice suit or a new car?" No one answered. No one ever did. She was alone in the world. Alone and lonely. Waiting, waiting, waiting... Always waiting.


Love,
Ladycat




Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most
beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation
or abstraction from life; IT IS LIFE I


[This message has been edited by Ladycat (06-03-2003 09:12 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Vynette M. Charles-Brooks - All Rights Reserved
laurie
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153
canada, ontario
1 posted 2003-06-04 01:08 AM


no need to rip it apart. least, l don't think there is... hehe...
lt's... you've hit how l feel exactly, and conveyed so many different emotions... wow.
l'm impressed - l like ur style.
laurie.

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